The Changing Colours of Life

This day last year-1

2012-01-04T15:01:00.002+05:30

This has been one of the most eventful years of our lives...that said I remember huddling in with P in a taxi on a cold winter night to go to the gynecologist. After getting a positive on the HPT, I had an episode of spotting and since it was very similar to what happened the last time... I was devastated. It was a bleak ride to the doctor and I felt that there was no way the doc will be able to confirm anything in a small private clinic run at home. How was it possible to do a beta HCG test or an ultrasound in a small clinic? Once we got in I was pleasantly surprised to find an ultra sound machine right next to his table.Within a couple of minutes our doctor was pointing out to us a small flicker on the screen and confirmed that it was indeed the heartbeat of a 7 week old baby. P and I were so shocked that the doctor thought that the pregnancy was unplanned and we were not happy! But of course we were thrilled but mostly we were dazed. We were going to be parents.The ride back was entirely different and the cold damp night faded away into a night filled with promise and hope. That night I remember not being able to sleep, I kept replying the flicker on the screen over and over again. Conception is nothing less than a miracle of life. Today Jan 4th 2010 seems so long way off...

----------------

4 and half moths old Miss A has now settled in her new surroundings. Even though she had turned over on Diwali, she started doing it more frequently and more confidently only after she completed 3 months. Since yesterday she can also go back on her back from her stomach. She makes lots of cute noises and talks intently to her great grand mother and always has a ready smile and a laugh for her great grand father.Its a pleasure to just watch her antics.

Amma has yet again supported us when we needed it by getting A to learn to sleep without rocking....The first few times she cried for almost 1 hour before sleeping but now she has accepted that there will be only patting and no rocking. However she gets up way to many times at night and wants to feed every 2 hours...it is exhausting.

She has started refusing the bottle(with expressed BM) since last one month and the clever little thing just decides to go hungry till I give in. The few times she does take the bottle, it is after much cajoling and distraction....even then she will just have about 70 to 80 cc to take the edge of her hunger and wait for me!

We have entered the new year with severe cold and cough. Both A and I are sick and miserable and the worst part is no medicine or nasal drops is compatible with BF. Sigh... but I know that this will also pass off.

Until next blog post
Wishing everyone a very happy new year!

Can I even think beyond feeding my baby?

2011-11-28T22:16:00.004+05:30

Looks like No.Everything is about Miss A and her feeding schedule.It has somehow managed to creep into every small nook and corner of my life and well stay there.In the first two weeks I never thought I would get so far....it is 3 months and 2 weeks now and we are still going on with BF.

The good- She is now at this endearing stage when she will pause, make eye contact with me and give a heart warming smile before continuing.Many times these moments are the shining light of my days...and make everything worth while.

The bad- She was taking the bottle on Thursday and decided she does not like it on Friday.She stubbornly kept pushing it out with her tongue until I gave up and offered her my breast. I almost believed that my poor little girl had suddenly forgotten how to suck a teat...when P came up with the idea about tricking her in her sleep and she wiped the bottle clean!

Losing sleep over my baby's sleep....

2011-11-14T21:46:00.004+05:30

So we have two weeks before we leave for India and for the first time since our wedding P and I will be away from each other for two whole months and 10 days.I know it sounds cheesy but I can't help it. Even though I want to go home,I am scared of loosing the amazing support I get from P at nights.Miss A does not know as yet to fall asleep on her own and needs rocking and after that its a challenge to place her on the bed without waking her up.Among the great advantages of nursing there was one which I completely overlooked and it is good I did that cos it completely eludes us. I am talking about nursing to sleep, I wish Miss A would fall asleep on my breast and stay asleep. Poor girl is bothered by gas and usually the need to burp awakens her and us.

Chennai...home...even though there are going to be so many people, I think it will be the first time Miss A and I will be truly alone.

Autumn and a song

2011-11-04T14:05:00.009+05:30

This morning the sun came out and after a very long time and I happened to really look outside...Autumn is upon us again and the colors are as romantic as ever. There is some nostalgia as usual in the autumn spray of leaves. Some bitter sweet memories come up and I smile and nod to myself before checking on Miss A who is playing in the crib and talking to the mobile! yes she does that when she is a good mood. Anyway while I was doing this I remembered this song .Its beautiful.Listen to it.

Quelqu’un M’a Dit

On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand-chose
Elles passent en un instant comme fanent les roses
On me dit que le temps qui glisse est un salaud
Que de nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux
Pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit...

(refrain)
Que tu m'aimais encore
C'est quelqu'un qui m'a dit que tu m'aimais encore
Serait-ce possible alors ?

On me dit que le destin se moque bien de nous
Qu'il ne nous donne rien et qu'il nous promet tout
Paraît que le bonheur est à portée de main
Alors on tend la main et on se retrouve fou
Pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit...

(refrain)

Mais qui est-ce qui m'a dit que toujours tu m'aimais ?
Je ne me souviens plus, c'était tard dans la nuit
J'entends encore la voix, mais je ne vois plus les traits
"Il vous aime, c'est secret, lui dites pas que je vous l'ai dit"
Tu vois, quelqu'un m'a dit...

Que tu m'aimais encore, me l'a-t-on vraiment dit...
Que tu m'aimais encore, serait-ce possible alors ?

Traslation

I’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,
They pass like an instant, like wilting roses.
I’m told that time slipping by is a bastard
Making its coat of our sorrows.
Yet someone told me…

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.
Well ? Could that be possible?

I’m told that fate makes fun of us,
That it gives us nothing and promises everything,
When happiness seems to be within our reach,
We reach out and find ourselves like fools.
Yet someone told me…

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.
Well ? Could that be possible?

Well ? Could that be possible?

So who said that you still loved me?
I don’t remember any more, it was late at night,
I can still hear the voice, but I can no longer see the face,
“He loves you, it’s secret, don’t tell him I told you.”
You see, someone told me

That you still loved me
Did someone really tell me?
That you still loved me
Well, could that be possible?

I’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,
Passing in an instant, like wilting roses,
I’m told that time slipping by is a bastard,
Making its coat of our sadnesses.

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.

B for Breast F for Feeding

2011-11-02T11:18:00.001+05:30

Early days are tough. Though I had heard of it and read about it various forums, I never really realized how tough they could be. For starters there are issues which are anticipated and then there are things which come and hit you out of the blue.

One such issue is breast feeding. Every new mom had to deal it with irrespective of whether they choose to do it or not.

While I was growing up and in fact until very recently I was very squeamish with the word breast. Even when used with respect to feeding, it would embarrass me and make me uncomfortable, for I primarily saw the breast as sexual organ and well being brought up in a conservative family also contributed to this image but things were about to change, that too in a big way. The last few months of pregnancy were spent in preparation for our little one. P and I enrolled ourselves in the BCT( Brussels childcare trust) prenatal classes and many a evenings were spent learning the working of pregnancy, labor and child care. Of all the topics covered, the predominant and most talked about one was breastfeeding and its benefits. It is recommended by WHO. It is the safe. It is easy.It is natural. It is free and most importnatly it is the BEST for the child. Of course we wanted the BEST for our child and so even though I had never really thought or dwelt on the issue before, I took for granted that it is what I would also do. No questions asked. As the due date grew closer I was exposed to various associated issues that might come up like sore cracked nipples, engorgement, leakage, the workings of demand and supply, the evil teats, nipple shields, breast pumps...you name it and I had either read about it or had heard about it.In short, I was told breast feeding was hard, I just did not realize how hard.

Little did I know that even though one might anticipate and be prepared for all sorts of issues, life always throws in some twists and turns and disposes any plans you might have made. 18th of august, 10: 58 PM Miss A was born after a long 27 hour labor which ended in a c-sec. As I spent the next few hours in the recovery room, P and a wailing Miss A were left to their own devices in another room. Helpless, P kept ringing the midwife bell as he just did not know how to deal with her. He was scared even to lift her! The midwife then came down and gave P a piece of her mind about not bonding with his own child and then fed Miss A a cup of formula! P says that did quite her down a bit but later on her waling continued only to be quieted down when he picked her up and held her till I was brought in, a good 4 hours later. That was the beginning of our formula story.

The next few days at the hospital were spent in trying to establish the latch at every feeding. At first, both of us were excited and eager but soon it turned to frustration. Miss A could not latch well and when she did, it was shallow. This resulted in sore nipples which soon started bleeding as I would not give up and desperately wanted it to work. The midwives suggested that I express and feed. I grudgingly agreed and that was when realized that my supply was low, really low and no wonder Miss A was annoyed. I could not keep up with her appetite. I cried. I felt like a failure.The whole feeling was compounded by the repeated questions about weather I was lactating well and if Miss A was feeding well. I was told more than once that "Mothers milk is so important". Like I did not know that already!

The day we came home, P rushed to Baby 2000 ( which was the only shop open till 7 in Brussels) to buy Philips avent Breast Pump. It proved to be a life saver in the first 2 weeks. Amma took care of my diet and fed me constantly healthy food at regular intervals( My diet was extremely restricted due to Gestational diabetes during pregnancy ). We tried all sorts of home remedies and I am not sure what exactly worked, may be it was a combination of things but in 1 week we were completely off formula. The only problem that remained was the latch. I tried to feed with nipple shields slowly but that did not work out much. In fact now it seemed Miss A just did not want anything else but the rubber teats. Expressing milk for every feed after a c sec can take its toll on you and I was finally ready to give up. To hell with Breast feeding, I thought. As a last attempt before giving up, we turned to midwife who was also a lactation consultant. She spent 5 min with us and Miss A latched well for the first time. This was the first pain free, bottle free feed we had. I was elated. Miss A could do it after all. I could do it after all.

On the advice of the consultant the next day we moved off all bottles and nipple shields and started working on reintroducing the breast. The result- An inconsolable wailing Miss A. Every wail was like a rejection and it pierced through my emotional, high on hormone heart. Both of us spent the whole day crying and trying. By the end of the day we still had not managed to latch. P came home to find us in a holy mess and then put me the right perspective by asking a simple question. If we had been given a condition that we could have a baby only if we would formula feed her,what would I have done? The world righted itself and good sense prevailed. That night the bottles came back on, but we were still with BM. The next morning I decided to try a new trick. I would give miss A the bottle for few minutes and then quickly swap with Breast. It worked! So for the next two days we continued this way until we did not need the bottle at all. Poor baby she just did not understand that teats and nipples served the same purpose. So now Miss A could bottle feed as well as breast feed. Yea, a baby with dual talents:)

Today when I look back, I know I could not have done it without my mom and P. They stood by me and Miss A and helped us at every step.

For those out there who are struggling with supply and latch issues, all I will say is don't beat yourself about it. It is difficult not to succumb under the pressure to breastfeed due to the OR ELSE subtext. It might seem impossible to turn your head away from all the lies, half-truths and exaggerations which are all designed to get the mother to consider breastfeeding to be the BEST for the BABY and MOTHER. I know I felt like a failure and a really bad mother on the initial days when my supply was low and all websites and books told me "low supply issues are easily corrected". They're not. Nothing is easy here. Yes they can be corrected but not easily.Believe it or not Breast feeding is not natural for all. For some like us it is an acquired skill. Breast feeding is not free. It takes time and effort.Both are not Free. No mother will feel "Free" as long as she is nursing. Breast feeding is not convenient.(Try waking up every two hours at night- This is one thing that tilts the balance- parenting becomes predominantly breast feeding) I am yet to do it in public and am shit scared of the 10 hour long trip back home.

However, nothing is impossible. Close your eyes and ears to the breast feeding propaganda. I know more than one child who turned out just as fine if not better on formula filled bottles than on breast. I know I am happy I did not give up( though I have no idea how being exclusively breast fed is going to change Miss A's life), but you must consider it only if you believe the effort and sacrifices are worth it.Whatever you decide,remember your decision is the BEST for the baby and you . Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.

6 weeks update

2011-10-04T15:40:00.003+05:30

Miss A is now 6 weeks old and no longer looks or behaves like a newborn baby. Its amazing how much she has changed in one month.It is hard to believe this little bundle was cozily sitting inside me just over a month back.

So now she can fix and follow moving objects and likes gazing at the musical mobile. We now use this in addtion to the hair dryer to distract her.

She makes new sounds every day. Her crying vocabulary is also changing and is becoming more noisy and demanding.

As of yesterday she has learnt to put her right fist in her mouth by her own will. She keeps trying to do that and becomes miserable when she is not successful! I sometimes try slipping mittens on her hands but they always end up on the floor somehow. Sigh. We have way to many mittens and caps ( she hates them too) for this little one !

Last week was one of the sunniest weeks Brussels has seen this year and we managed to take Miss A to Merode park twice. Yay! Finally I could push my own buggy. Yes Brussels is Buggy land where most people have at least one buggy with them. Seriously, I almost had a complex about not having one of my own to push around!

Lastly amma is leaving next week...We will miss her like nothing else. Amma is..well amma. No one and nothing can compare or replace her. I have three home alone days before my MIL comes and I am shit scared.

That's for now...Amma is out shopping and Miss A is bored of her mobile...got to run.

Hairdryer Jindabad

2011-09-26T21:08:00.004+05:30

Miss A is colicky and does not know how to sleep. Amma and I take turns in putting her to sleep and this takes about 45 min at a time. She then rewards us by sleeping for 15 min, before opening her eyes and continuing to fuss. Anyway thanks to Dr Sears we now have discovered the Hairdryer. The minute it comes on she quietens down, keeps her fists closed and concentrates hard on the noise in full attention. ( It is so cute) It been a life savior these last few days and I hope it continues to work as long as required.

Its 2 in the morning

2011-09-12T02:20:00.001+05:30

Another sleepless night.

Miss A caught a bad cold a week back from her dad and what can I say, it breaks my heart that I could not protect my little 2 week old girl from the bad bad cold virus. She is not able to sleep flat on her back due the nose block( I think) and so we now take turns to hold her on our shoulders right through the night praying that she will sleep. The days are another story altogether which mostly pass in feeding, changing her diapers and predominately putting her to sleep. She gives us on rare occasions an hour of sleep and fusses and cries rest of the time. In addition to all this we have rushed her to the emergency, taken her to a pediatrician and even spoken to one back home...all have the same thing to say- everything is normal and it will pass. They do nothing to relieve her pain or misery. So as we wait this phase to pass, I wonder what other things we will fail to protect her from. I know I don't hesitate in pointing out instances where I think my parents did not do the right thing...will she do the same?

Even as we deal with all this, all three of us at receiving end of advices and instructions from those back home in India. Most of them come with good intentions but leave me feeling defensive and irritable, for all said and done they are not here and so may not understand the situation correctly.Its easy to give advice but difficult to implement the same....

Any Good News?

2011-08-26T20:14:00.000+05:30

I have been wanting to write about these three words that have the power to throw you into maelstrom of emotions from sheer panic to distress and sometimes even elation if the circumstances support you. Yup I am talking about the nation wide obsession of asking procreation status update from newly weds and especially those wed for a minimum duration of one year . For once the marriage is done, next duty is to reproduce.

I guess we were one of the few lucky couples who escaped this question for a good long 2 years but that was the end of our honeymoon period and soon after that we were often jerked around by strangers at parties, relatives and even friends in our age group with these three words. Imagine the horror and appalled silences that followed when we answered with simple words "We are not ready" . Strangers would quietly slip away and avoid us, relatives and so called friends would start advising us on how time is running out, our duty to the family etc etc... At first we found it amusing and we would often joke about it later, but slowly the frequency started increasing and well when even people of our age group started lecturing, I think we kind of lost it. At least I did. The whole thing had shifted scales and had moved from being amusing to annoying.I have now estranged myself from more than one well meaning friend due to this!

One day while discussing this with P, the below points evolved. There are two reasons why a couple does not have a child

1. They don't want one and so its anyway none of anybody's business.

Why is it so hard for the society to understand that its possible for a couple to not want children? Why are they perceived as "incomplete"? I know some couples who are perfectly happy in their lives and have chosen to be childless. Of course usually such couples cannot vibe with couples with children and can never really understand why they are so obsessed with their children all the time but that's not a big problem, as there are plenty of like minded people out there to get to know and become friends with. The only real challenge these couples face is society and elders. I have often wondered what kind of reply is perfect for the good news question but the workings of the Indian society has left me baffled. Sometimes no answer is the best answer for nothing is going to be enough. Ignore and change the topic, people with sense will take the hint and those who don't well they are not worth any thought but remember biological clock and all the other reasons hold true and every couple should be prepared for the consequences. That said it is still their business and a matter choice.

Moving on to the second reason

2. They do want one and are in process of trying( TTC apparently is the abbreviation used) in which case all that the society accomplishes is to make them feel small and distressed. Maybe that is the whole point- It is true that people in our country feel good by making others feel like a failure. Yes, as far as our society goes, failure to reproduce is a colossal waste of marriage and life.

I have had close friends who have been torched at the hands of our society because they don't have a child and every time someone threw this question at them, all it did was remind them how much they wanted a child of their own. My heart goes out to such couples and I wish the people around them would just let them be.

Even though most people are obnoxious in their inquisitive nature it will only help the couple to not announce to the society at large they are in the TTC phase. Yes! Some couples actually go around announcing this personal aspect of their lives not only to close relatives but also friends and colleagues! Why? Why are you sharing something so personal with the society which can be cruel and mean? Protect yourselves and keep others guessing.

We as a couple have passed through both the stages listed above.At first we were in the first group and simply did not want children as we wanted to enjoy being together as a couple. That said we were prepared for the consequences also. Adoption was always a strong option in our agenda and I was even thinking of assisted conception if required at a later stage but at no point did it deter us from enjoying our alone time. That was our choice and we take full responsibility of the consequences.

After coming to Brussels things slowly stared changing and we wanted to give our fate a chance. The same time last year we realized we really wanted a child and well now we have with us our own little Miss A. :)

I think this blog will undergo a huge change and is going to be colored in the various hues of motherhood, pregnancy and related issues. As a result I guess it will get a bit more personal and uninteresting to people who are not in this phase of life, which is understandable. In the recent months I have searched and loved reading mommy blogs and each of them have helped me battle the feeling of being alone. Some have made me laugh and some have made me cry but importantly they opened up a whole new world for me ...I hope in future this blog will also help and lend some sense of similar comfort to women in this phase of life.

I painted the below painting as we were waiting for our little one.

Green Brussels

2011-08-15T13:39:00.002+05:30

Brussels is full of beautiful parks which can charm you to your toes on a sunny day. This summer has been relatively more wet than the last but on the rare sunny days the green is mesmerizing.

Amma is here with us this summer and I am so glad for those few sunny days and she absolutely adores the greenery and the walks.

In Pairs

2011-08-10T18:58:00.004+05:30

For really really long time, I have been wanting to do paintings that can be grouped into themes. When dinks sent me the canvases, I decided to do the below two for my kitchen.

The first one is called "Pears Together" and the second is "Cherries in Love"

Domestic violence

2011-07-26T18:56:00.004+05:30

Though its no big surprise that I usually write and feel passionately about all women related issues, I have never really touched upon domestic violence.The closest I have come to this was way back in college when in sheer fury a guy whose advances I had turned down for a good long four years almost hit me on the last day of exam in the college bus. He had grown desperate and angry as he knew that there would be no other way to meet/see me in future and hence would not be able to continue "convincing" me after that day. He went on to threaten me and stealthy came home at night and left notes under our door. In short it was a nightmare and to make matters worse, there were some silly women in my class who tried to do " mami velai" and convince me to say "Yes"! The guy was from a well educated and civilized family and had 2 sisters of his own also. I later found out that he did have a temper problem.He had once pushed his grandmother down in anger which gave her a broken back!

The past is in the past. Dead and buried and of course I am over all that. Looking back, I have to say, at least I had the venue and opportunity to escape and once college was over and I could cut myself off from all the related elements and start over, but what about women who are in a real relationship like marriage which makes escape not so easy? If there are children involved, it becomes more difficult. These women are most of time are not only abused but also are unaware that they are being treated badly. Most relatives and friends call it a "private matter" between husband and wife and choose to turn a blind eye. In fact our entire society is extremely good at turning a blind eye to most women related issues and the few who do speak up get labeled "feminists" and whatever they say is dismissed as "oh she is like that only....just ignore and change topic".

Given our propensity as a society to keep quite I totally loved this campaign.

Harry Potter 7.2

2011-07-20T12:46:00.008+05:30

Harry potter has been such a big part of our lives that a few months back when it looked like I will not be with P in July, one of the first things that popped into our brains was HP 7.2. Would we not be able to watch it together? The thought literally brought on a tide of tears. If one knew about the enormity of things happening around us, it would seem as if we were totally mad to even think of this, but what can I say...such is our relationship. Small things bring us together and bind us. :)

Anyway, it all worked out for us and I am still with P in Brussels. Last weekend we went to Kinepolis to watch the final installment of HP. Yes there were deviations from the original plot, contrived scenes for 3D benefit but in all it was worth the wait and we loved being a part of it. You see, it is almost as if someone we know and love, is suddenly on TV and as an icing on the cake, we not only know the actors personally but also the places where the scene is shot.Imagine how it would feel, if every scene had something that bound you individually to it. In such instances, the direction, storyline etc etc...won't really matter. HP movies are like that. It is very difficult indeed to alienate/disappoint HP lovers and fans. However, in spite of the extremely complex story line and characters, the finale was beautifully orchestrated.

I am sure in years to come, we will not only read the books over and over again but will also watch the movies that will take us up close to the characters we love.

Some books, characters and movies are forever, in this case, all the three come together.

Celebrating Pink

2011-06-30T12:23:00.003+05:30

I started this one because one canvas was woefully sitting in the shelf reminding me time and again how I had abandoned it. Lately I have run out of patience for elaborate work and so decided to try something abstract. It is inspired from spring in Europe and the vibrancy of pink.

Medium:Oil on canvas

Surnames

2011-06-23T11:09:00.010+05:30

Just when I had decided there is nothing I want to write about, I read this on google news feeds.

“And now cometh the progeny of my son that shall bear the surname Bachchan - the first in this generation…” Amitabh Bachchan has himself expressed.

A harmless statement about names which is nothing but true, for even today children do get the dad's surname. In the north its usually Srivastav, Sharma etc but down south the children get their fathers first name! No one wants to change this.

I wish we had retained our original surnames instead of hiding behind first names to escape discrimination. All my attempts to revert to IYER surname have been dismissed so far with mildly indulgent looks...my dad now thinks its a great idea but he had his way with amma and both his daughters who now bear his name. Needless to say P also wants the same! Sigh!

Are we doing the right thing for all the daughters of the next generation? Will they resent the fact that they have to deal with same issues as we did? Are we moving forward?

P.s- I have retained my surname (read as father's name) simply because I am used to it and it feels weird to change it. It's now as much my name, as my fathers. Thankfully P is at peace with this aspect now ( took him almost 2 years) and has found that there is too much red tape involved in this name change business!

Rhapsody of Roses

2011-06-16T17:11:00.004+05:30

Medium:Oil on canvas

update: added a virtual frame to the painting. Hope to get it done this way when I get home.

On walking the road

2011-06-09T11:54:00.005+05:30

Whom you travel with on the journey is more important than the destination.
May it be life, a simple holiday or even the boring nine to five job.

Rolled Oats Pongal

2011-06-07T14:24:00.003+05:30

No rocket science involved here. Just replaced rice with oats in our usual pongal recipe. It tastes almost as nice as pongal and is healthy too. We had it for dinner last evening with pudina chuttney, curd and microwaved papad.

Rolled Oats sambar sadam

2011-06-03T14:14:00.004+05:30

So I have been looking for low carb recipes or rather food that releases energy slowly and keeps away hunger, and recently found out that rolled oats is healthy and guess what, googling shows that it is a great way to keep your blood sugar under control if you are diabetic. I tried having oats porridge with salt and pepper on one day but did not find it appetizing. So last evening I decided to make sambar sadam with oats. Here is what did

1. Cut vegetables as per availability. I used carrot, peas,capsicum and beans.
2. Pressure cook 1/2 cup thuar dal with the cut vegetables until they are nicely mashed.
3. Fry 1 cut onion and tomato in a little oil with jera, mustard seeds, curry leaves and 2-3 dried red chillis.
4. Add tamarind paste to the fried onion and tomato, as per taste and cook on low flame with water.
5. Add the cooked vegetables and dal to the above mixture.
6. Add samabr powder, hing, salt as per taste and cook on low flame for 10 min.
7.Add 3/4 cup of rolled oats( I used Quaker's rolled oats) to the above along with 1 cup water and stir continuously for 5-10 min. Add more water as and when required to maintain the smooth consistency.

Serve with microwaved papad and curd for a healthy meal.

We had it exactly like this and P who is usually very finicky about new things, for once really liked it. The taste is not very different from usual rice recipe and hence this oats substitute makes for a healthy change.

I don't have a picture of this, as we were too hungry to click snaps yesterday. We cleaned of the dish watching angur for the zillionth time. :) This movie makes us roll with laughter every time. Anyway, I will try to take a picture next time and add it here.

The world a court house

2011-06-01T12:07:00.005+05:30

A particular incident( elaborated towards the end) made me think on these lines.

Why are people so quick to judge? How do they assume that they actually "understand" the other person's position, feelings and thoughts, enough to pass judgmental statements? I remember my father telling me long long back, there is no way to put yourself completely in another persons shoes and think like them because at the end of it, you are not them. Each person and each decision/action they take is influenced by the years behind them and each and every moment of those years, uniquely influences and changes the person.

So while it might be possible to try to relate and understand and even give an unbiased opinion, its presumptuous to think, only you know best and what the other person is doing is foolish/ stupid etc.

For example, a collegue at P's office came to know over the weekend that his dad has been diagnosed with blood cancer. This grown man was inconsolable for a day and was literally in tears.People around him including P were shaken. After the initial feelings of sympathy and condolences, now there is talk about why this man never visited his dad over the last four years and why they never came over here either. People are quick to cast away and dismiss the man's distress and are now skeptical about his expression of grief. Somehow this has not sat well with me. How to do we, mere collegues and friends, ever know what history he had with his dad or what reasons he had, for keeping away from his family.Maybe there were property issues, sibling rivalry, misunderstanding, wife unable to get along with in laws and so on. Irrespective of whatever the past might have held, how is that people can judge and question his grief? Maybe it is real and then again maybe its not but he deserves to be taken at face value and not be judged.

There are so many things that lie in the unknown that the best a person can do, is to take things such as these at face value, albeit with a pinch of salt. We may or maynot agree or like what decisions and actions people around us take, but when it is within the lawful limits, it is best to let it be.

Daily life meaningless titbits

2011-05-26T12:09:00.006+05:30

I have run out of things I want to say here at the moment( which I think is quite apparent form my last few posts), so I have now decided to succumb to lowly posts about things that don't mean much. It is my blog space after all and the best part is I can write anything I want here!

What has Lipstick (which is me or at least some part of me, by the way) been doing ? She has been watching Gossip girl back to back! Yes,teenage high school/collage drama can be distracting and consuming.

We ordered two books from play.com(This is because there are hardly any English book shops here and the prices are anyway, way to high) which finally arrived a couple of days back and after a long time, I am reading a brand new fiction in paperback, as against the e-book versions. There is something about holding a book and marking the pages with a dog ear fold that makes you feel right at home. The book am reading now is

So in all there is nothing like love,betrayal,gossip,drama, murder and some mystery, to liven the day up and make a otherwise dull cold day seem interesting and alive!

One more picture

2011-05-23T16:10:00.001+05:30

Pink has never been a fav color of mine but these shades are so eye cathing that I cannot help but love the pinks and whites splashed over green.

Is this okay?

2011-05-17T12:59:00.006+05:30

"Appa, I have worked out how to manage my finances, is this okay?"
"Amma ,I want to wear the red saree, what do you think"
"Is this much salt okay in sambar?"

Seeking approval from parents is an inbuilt mechanism almost all Indians of all age groups have. I think it comes to due to years of conditioning among other things...but most times it is about courting petty appreciation, which lends a feel good factor. When one of P's cousins brought this up yesterday, the thought stuck on and I relaized that this might be the root cause for most of our disgruntlement with our parents. Of course, there could be other issues like too much frankness, a tad too much of involvement and so on....but this is an important aspect and I am sure, if we were to take a re look at our life as a third person, such issues would become glaring obvious.

I understand seeking opinions between two adults is a normal part of any relationship but often between parents and children it rather one way....Not many parents ask/seek opinions from their children. Forget the really life changing decisions, often they don't even discuss the simple/ random things like
"What colors do you think we should use for the bedroom"
"What do you think I should tell your pati"
This compulsive, unidirectional opinion seeking, followed by distress on rejection/dismissal, is a bit unsettling . Is this how it should be?

If we could just brush away opinions (explicitly stated or alluded) that we don't agree with or like, life would be so much more simpler. It also helps when parents and children learn to say, little life saving white lies just to humor each other, but more on this later.

"You think this is not a right investment option, well thank you for your opinion but as much as value it, I think this is perfect for me ."
"You think the red saree makes me look fat, well maybe but I want to wear it anyway."

I understand that not all us fall into this approval seeking bracket, but if you are there, then just recognizing the problem is the first step towards undertaking the journey of becoming a real adult!

Read more here-How to Stop Craving a Parent's Approval (When You're Already an Adult!

At 30

2011-05-16T16:11:00.001+05:30

So I turned 30 today. For many years it seemed like a really old and grown up age but funnily once you are there it does not actually feel all that different. Yes, I have learnt some more lessons in life and have changed in more than one way, but at the end of it, its just another birthday along the way.

Celebrating Spring

2011-05-15T12:45:00.000+05:30

Sometime back we had been to Netherlands to catch the spring splendor and these are some of the photos we took. Needless to say I am mighty satisfied with our pictures :)

Shor in the city

2011-05-11T11:48:00.005+05:30

We saw this movie with dinner last night. At first I was skeptical about the choice as I had not read any of the reviews and for once did not have any idea about the movie. In the beginning, the movie made me very uncomfortable due to the blatant portrayal of harsh realities of India; the mob, corruption, silly teenagers and so on......I guess this how India is and even though I would like to wear rose colored glasses and yearn for my dear perfect motherland, there are times when the glasses have to come off and I have to acknowledge the harsh realities of our nation.

Anyway, as the movie progressed I was pleasantly surprised to see that the movie, though not a commercial mainstream masala, was not grim and serious. It was not a traditional comedy or feelgood movie either.... I don't know how to say it but my feelings towards the movie kept changing as we watched it and in the end I was happy with it.

Since detailed reviews are available aplenty, I will not get into that...however I definitely recommend watching it!

One of M.S. Subbalakshmi's

2011-05-05T15:55:00.006+05:30

Things have been rocky for sometime now and are now, slowly getting back to normal. Usually when I am restless, I listen to music..... but I realized last week that I was kind of tired of what I had with me and was searching and listening to songs on youtube. Among many others, I found this...for some reason, I don't actually have this song on my collection, even though I have heard it before. Totally love it.

It reminds me of my grandma(thathi) for Krishna is her favorite god and she totally adores him. Though we have our disagreements I miss her and her ways. Sometimes living abroad can be such a pain for you cannot pack your bags and take the overnight Bangalore mail to just go home and say hello.

And then let there be sunshine

2011-04-06T15:58:00.004+05:30

However hard or deep I wish, weather will never really dance to my tune will it? For some reason every time we wish for higher temperatures because of planned outing, the sun turns shy, leaving us with a gray cloud cover.

We the hypocrites

2011-04-04T14:18:00.002+05:30

So 2nd of April was a day that will go down in History. After all India won the world cup. Amidst all the celebrations there were tons of facebook messages and "news" articles about Poonam Pandey. Well her celebrity gimmick did not shock me or move me as much as the retaliation she had to receive at the hands of our great Indian junta,various political and religious groups.

"Indian women are revered and respected since time immemorial. We have a tradition of Sita, Draupadi, Jijamata, Queen of Jhansi, Tarabai Holkar, Savitri Phule, Ramabai Ambedkar, Sarojini Naidu, Indira Gandhi, Kalpana Chawla and many more."

Really? We are so respected that no one bats an eyelid about female infanticide, preference of male child, eve teasing, molestation, dowry, rape, abuse.... There is no end to this list.

All this talk about respecting a woman in a country where women are merely second class citizens even in educated households.
All this in a nation which has recorded the maximum hits on pornographic sites.
All this in a nation where Kamasutra was born and temples are filled with carvings of semi nude men and women.
All this in a nation where even educated and not to mention "boys from good families" lament over not "sighting" pretty air hostesses in flights and further go on to blog about their sad fate.

I remember once amma telling me( I was about 12) that boys/men will not respect girls/women if we behaved in a loose( joke/flirt) manner. Well if respect has to be conditional then I guess its not even respect is it?

We are nation of hypocrites and even if we win the greatest of battles and bring home the worthiest of victories, everything will slowly lose its luster, thanks to the darkness that rests in our souls.

p.s- Thanks Raaga for sending the note:)

Toll of Time

2011-03-30T12:10:00.004+05:30

Once upon a time
You were a good friend of mine

Endless conversations
with almost no reservation

But as the clock ticked
Fate had us tricked

The season changed
We became estranged

The silences lengthened
Awkwardness heightened

Years later I saw you again
But we lost we cannot gain

When I think of the beginning
I never did imagine an ending

But today we have nothing to say
And well somethings are just that way.

A tale of abandonment

2011-03-21T14:04:00.000+05:30

I am feeling a tad depressed and my mind goes back to the time when I was shiny and bright. The gleam along the edges was enough to attract attention and I think that is how you found me. Soon I acquired possessions of different kinds. I developed a fascination of bits and pieces of this and that. Things were added to the collection and some removed. My favorite has always been the pale pink lipstick with smears around the edges. The keys were a permanent fixture and the ball point pens without caps my least favorite. Since a few years a cell phone and an mp3 player have also found their way into my kitty. At first I found them bothersome but now I can barely think of myself without them. Among all these things the best part of my life was that I was a part of your life and useful to you.

I don’t know what has happened but something has changed. I lie in a corner nowadays and no one really cares. I still have my cherished possessions with me; A ball point pen without cap, the pink lipstick, a bunch of keys, a small purse with sanitary napkins, a small bag of change, last month’s bus pass, the mp3 player which was running continuously for a few hours before the charge ran out and a mobile phone which rang one last time before its battery drained.

Don’t you need me anymore? How can you leave me, your trusted companion of last 10 years behind? Where are you? I wish you knew your handbag was missing you.

The (im) perfect woman

2011-03-08T15:16:00.005+05:30

This post has been sitting in my drafts for sometime now .I wanted to make this post on women’s day but since yesterday I have come across so many takes on this that I almost decided not to post but then today morning I changed my mind. There is surely enough space in blogsphere for all our rants.

This is the star plus anthem, if you have not watched it, pls do so now.

So did you like it? Did it fill your heart with pride and respect for the women who is all in one and plays all the roles to perfection with a sublime smile?

Well I loved the music score and hated everything else about it.

Let’s start at the beginning, when the women kind first ventured into education and job world she was questioned and chastened that she will not be then able to do her duty as a wife, mother and DIL. Her answer to all these allegations was to prove that she could do both and manage everything beautifully. She would take women friendly jobs like teaching, state bank employee etc etc. Kudos to those few women who dared to step outside and prove that they could do it all (I am sure they had to deal with loads of problems along the way). As years went by, all jobs including teaching became demanding and now we have reached a point when nothing is as easy as it looks.

I remember my ammama (maternal grandmother) wanted my mother to be exactly like this slim, good looking superwoman in star plus. She wanted her to wake up early, do exercise, fix coffee and breakfast for husband and in-laws, care for their health, make time to romance with her husband, fix nutritious lunch for her two children, be social and fun with neighbors, be devout and traditional when required and slip into a glamorous saree while entertaining, keep a good paying job and do extremely well at it. She should be adored by one and all and should never bitch about anyone. I could go on and on but you get the idea. For whatever it was worth my mother did really try hard to do it all but it was never enough for my ammama.

Amma if you are reading this I want you to know that you achieved so much by just trying and I applaud you for that alone, I on the other hand don’t even want to try and will not try. My ammama tried her best to nurture these values in me and well she failed.

In my ammama’s defense she just wanted the best for her daughter and grand daughters along her limited vision. She did belong to an all together different generation which had very different variables when compared to ours. I want to ask the people, especially the women who belong to this generation, are you been fair? Forget fairness, are you even human to expect such super human feats from yourselves and your fellow women? For look around you, the men in your lives have not moved an inch and continue to play only limited roles. No one expects anything more of them today than they did say two generations ago. All they require to be applauded is to take care of their parents even after marriage ( aka live with them) and make a decent living. It is still justified and considered normal if the man can’t even lift his own towel before going to bath and all those men who do deign to take out the garbage are looked up to as demi god’s and their wives have to listen endlessly to comments like “How lucky you are. Your husband takes the trash out” to no end! Hello, why are expectations with regard to our men in our life so low? Have you ever heard a man been called lucky just because his wife is working at an IT company?

This piece represents everything wrong with our society today. Some glaring points are-do the woman and her husband have no duty towards her parents? Where is she making time for them? Why should every perfect woman live with her in laws?How can she be so happy to be overworked and live in family where she does everything? How is that she has no bad days on which she over eats and becomes overweight? What about acne? What about the recalcitrant child? Why does she not have a daughter? How about some moody days where she is just upset and irritated for no particular reason? When does she find time to have a good cry? Why can she not be unreasonable at times? Why should she always be adjusting and tolerant? Why can she not do something or vice verse because she wishes it that way?

Women are just as human as men and deserve to be loved and celebrated even when they are not perfect.

The woman and the different roles she plays have been discussed and written about to ad nauseam levels. Really, not many seem to celebrate her with her imperfections and inability to play all roles to perfection at the same time. Almost everyone expects her to forget that she is human first, then a woman and then everything else. All articles start with how girl turns into a woman, does her duty as a sister, daughter, wife,DIL , mother and then dies as the ever loving grandma. I am not scoffing at this woman. In fact kudos to her. All I am saying is that an office going career woman who is single has as much reason to be applauded as a homemaker. A woman who is not a biological mother deserves to loved and appreciated as much as anyone else. A woman who cares for her parents should be looked up to for she is daring to be different. No woman should have to do it all to deserve our respect and appreciation.

This clip would have been far better if every frame/scene had a different woman doing something different in it. Had it shown real women, in all their imperfections coping in different roles at different walks of life it might have stuck a cord.

On a lighter note, I wonder what kind of video this would have been if the lead protagonist had been a man? What would we as a generation have to show and applaud about the different roles of men in our life’s?

At the risk of censure from almost all educated women (Yes, we women do expect our kind to be ever tolerant and adjusting- one has to only look at the bashing the few women receive for simply saying they don’t want to live with their in-laws for whatever reason), for daring to say things that are politically incorrect, I press the submit button.

Happy woman’s day.

Mirror Mirror on the wall

2011-02-21T13:08:00.000+05:30

This happened years back. I was about 10 years old. It was summer holidays. The smell of mangoes was in the air. The neighborhood children were all playing in hot afternoon sun and would drop by at regular intervals to ask me to join them, but alas I my grandma would not let me go. She first wanted me to do 100 skipping jumps, followed by hanging from the iron bean in front of our house! Can you guess why? Well of course she was worried that I would not put on height and would succumb to genetic traits. Are you shocked? Well if you are gifted with the good tall genes then you probably won’t understand, but if you fall on the vertically challenged category then you might know what I am talking about. I have met more than one mother who is worried that her 2 year old daughter may not become tall, because well it’s not her genes.

Though most people understand to an extent about the helplessness of those who are vertically challenged, horizontal issues are dealt with far less leniency. Every class has a fatty (Boy or girl) who has been driven to tears by constant badgering and teasing. Many of these children outgrow this stage and loose all the fat in the later years but there are some who cannot help it due to medical conditions. I once knew a dear friend who was reasonably tall ( 5 feet 4 inches) in Indian standards and had beautiful hair and sharp features. She would often break down in tears because more than one marriage proposal went awry due to her weight problems. The stress full bridegroom search affected her and she quickly lost all her luster and became a shadow of the person she used to be. Her own parents turned against her and became her worst enemies. She could not reduce her weight much, in spite of diets, exercises and what not. Weight problems can be caused by hormones, metal health, genetics and many other reasons which can be managed but have no permanent solution. Fortunately for her she did find the right guy who could look beyond all that and appreciate her for what she was, her lovely hair, beautiful eyes etc. She has now regained all the lost confidence and is more comfortable being her.

All those who have escaped the above two common problems are faced with yet another. This one is very easy to guess as we Indians are notorious for our obsession with fair skin. Every girl, irrespective of her skin colour is advised against too much sun exposure, turmeric and yogurt pastes for the face and lime for tanned skin, right from the tender ages of 8 or so. After all being fair not only increases the chance in marriage mart but also in every other spheres of life. People in general are more drawn towards fair skin in our country. The innumerous advertisements on billboards and television don’t help and these days there is a fast growing market for fair and handsome too! As if targeting women was not enough this has now become a uni-sex obsession! I know of a cousin who was perfect in every way (very tall, very slim etc) but was dark. Predictably she had some issues in getting marriage proposals but guess what she did not want to marry anyone dark! She wanted to ensure that at least her children would have a chance to break free. As luck might have it, she married a very fair guy who did not care much for her skin color but god had other plans for her two daughters. Both took after their mother. I remember her lamenting over that particular point more than once. Her children are still young and I hope she does not pass on her insecurities to them.

Do you remember there was a time when singers were appreciated for their singing skills alone and writers could look as ugly as sin? Not anymore. Singers are as image conscious as any film celebrity and I have even heard of writers who have a double to help them with a media friendly image. With, in your face media explosion, it is difficult for the society to not get influenced. It would amount to a crime, if I didn’t mention the upside of all this is; we have become more health conscious. Even in a highly conservative city like Chennai, every street now has a fitness club. There are numerous health and nutrition related internet sites and advisors to help us decide what is the perfect diet and how to beat the obesity, cholesterol etc.

The downside is that people have become more insecure about themselves and are forever striving to attain the perfect hair, the perfect size zero and pretty much perfect everything. Some with money can even afford various cosmetic surgeries to look just right. As grown ups many of us can handle the obsession and even though I am sure it takes a toll on our mental health most of us can fairly get by without any serious consequences. After all, our childhood was cocooned in innocence and fun. We had that advantage.

For the children and teenagers of today it might not be as easy to cope. They are brought up to believe in an image no less than perfect and strive for it. This often results in troubled youngsters who never become comfortable with themselves. On failing to become what they think is ideal, they become self deprecating and unhappy. How can a young girl whose first love is Barbie (an epitome of impossible standards) ever cope with the real world?

I understand the concern and the need for parents to feel that their children should do better than them, look better than them etc…but really what about the children? Are we not giving them a complex? There is not much we can do as individually to change perceptions and trends in the society but I think we can control how we react to it. It is as important to equip our children to deal with things they cannot change like physical traits, as it is to teach them not to accept defeat easily in other areas.

I for one never did cross 5 feet 2 inches much to everyone’s disappointment except mine. For some reason the rebellious streak in me helped me build my defenses against family members who would have to comment on my height, on classmates and cousins who thought it cool to crack jokes etc…but how many children can do that on their own?

A perspective on roles of Indian Women

2011-02-14T15:57:00.007+05:30

This contest was announced in Indus ladies and found its way to my gmail account.

“A Women plays a variety of roles in her life - daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, grand mother, employee and so on. Your blog post can address any particular angle with regards to those roles. Which role is the most important? Which role is she over-indexed on? Which roles limits her the most?......”

The minute I finished reading this, the first thing that popped in my head was the saying,
“A woman is like the water that takes the shape of the vessel it rests in”. I kept thinking of all the different roles women play and what can be considered the most important one…then it occurred to me the most important role is not even mentioned in the contest. The role, of being a woman. Yes, just a woman. Water in a jug, a pot, a kettle or even a glass is still first and foremost water which essentially quenches our thirst. Often the Indian woman gets so involved in playing all these roles to the best of her abilities that she forgets what it is to be a woman.

As a woman, I believe our first responsibility is to understand and stand for our kind. Let me elaborate. How many times have we heard about the cruel mother in law, the mean sister in law, the woman yearning for a son, the mother who favors her son more than her daughter, the women friends who scorn a divorcee, the female boss who gives no quarter to her female subordinates and so on? The list is alas never ending. There are so many instances when a woman turns the worst enemy of another woman. She does so by succumbing to the system of “patriarchy” and the general rules that our society lives by.

This system makes mothers bring up their daughters and sons to believe

1. The daughter is always “paraya dhan” and her entire childhood is about how she can find a good husband and then cater to his and her “real” family’s needs.

2. Sons are important to take the family name forward and hence her foremost duty is to provide a male heir.

3. A woman must always put her husband’s and his parent’s needs before her own.

4. It is her duty to ensure the happiness of not just immediate “real” family but also extended “real” family like sister-in-law and her in-laws. The good name of the family rests on her fragile and already tired shoulders. Any behavior that is not acceptable will bring shame upon the family.

5. The Sons are brought up by emotional blackmail and constant brainwashing from birth, that his parents should always come before his wife and he should never forget his duty towards them. If he gives his wife first priority, then he will be known as hen pecked and that the wife will not be able to resist taking advantage of the situation. She will surely take him away from his parents

6. As a son/man his duty is to make sure his wife gives him first priority and also make sure that she stays in her place.

7. When the family bemoans the birth of a girl child, she cannot and should not express any joy she may feel.

8. A woman should always make sure she dresses up decently; otherwise naturally eve teasing will follow.

9. If a daughter, sister or wife is a victim of unwanted male attention or even rape, then surely the victim would have encouraged the man in question somehow. Yes, even asking the man to “mind his own business” is taken as encouragement. The woman/girl should always make sure that she blends into the surroundings and should never provoke or draw attention to herself in anyway. When harassed or eve teased she should quietly walk away from the scene as quickly as possible.
10. …
11. …

I could go on. It is sad but true, predominantly in India, women forget to celebrate themselves and often end up putting the society and its privileged members; their sons, husbands, brothers and everyone else before themselves. We get so involved in doing what is expected and right, in the eyes of the society that we more often than not, forget to actually do the right thing.

Now imagine if every woman in every family asserts her role of a woman and as an individual, who in spite of pressure from all sides can stand up for the most basic form of fairness. A woman, who will remember the pain she has faced, hence dares to show empathy and understanding for girls/women her life, they by breaking the rules of the society. Only when this happens, will our sons become fair and our daughters become aware of their self-worth. Empowerment of the female kind is not about taking out marches and shouting slogans. Its starts at home, in small day to day things like who will do the dishes today? In a family where the husband and sons do the dishes in turns with wife and daughter, a silver lining of hope has already been drawn.

The following incident took place three years back during my marriage. My cousin brother of age 10 was keenly observing and noticing the various rituals and general proceedings of a South Indian Tamil Brahmin wedding. At once instance he looked really worried and asked his mom where I would live after marriage. My aunt gave the usual reply that I would live with my husband who was then working abroad. My cousin then asked her, if he could live with his parents in the same house they lived in at that time, after his wedding. Of course my well educated, forward looking aunt reassured him that he could live at home. This small incident has remained with me and continues to irk me. I wonder if she would have answered in the same way had her daughter asked her that question. I for one would have said, “You and your wife should build your own home, but of course you will both be welcome to our place also”.

How would you answer this question? Shouldn’t the answer remain the same for a daughter and a son? What do you think? Remember, your thought has the power to redefine the fabric of our society and roles we play. That is the power we hold as being women. Realize it.

I tag:
1. Pretty woman
2.lafemmereva
3. Random thoughts

Anyone else who happens to read this and has something to say is welcome to consider themselves tagged:)

Faith

2011-02-07T22:19:00.003+05:30

Sometimes when things don't go my way or when I am thrown into deepest of despairs, I question my faith. Is there some powerful force that makes life possible? If it is so, then how come life is never fair?

I came across this today and it appealed to me, especially the last line because often it so happens that people who are close and dear to us fail to understand and say thoughtless things that hurt us.

God is here for us. He will carry us through our troubles if we let Him, but He does not guarantee that life will go as we wish. Death and suffering are part of our life, and our faith is there to help us through it, not prevent it. The last thing I wanted to do in my hour of need was to cut myself off from the only person who would not say something thoughtless or let me down.

Song this morning-Rhythm of love

2011-01-25T13:18:00.004+05:30

My head is stuck in the clouds
She begs me to come down
Says "Boy quit foolin' around"
I told her "I love the view from up here
Warm sun and wind in my ear
We'll watch the world from above
As it turns to the rhythm of love"
We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you're mine all mine
Play the Music low and sway to the rhythm of love

My heart beats like a drum
A guitar string to the strum
A beautiful song should be sung
She's got blue eyes deep like the sea
That roll back when she's laughing at me
She rises up like the tide
The moment her lips meet mine
We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you're mine all mine
Play the Music low and sway to the rhythm of love

When the moon is low
We can dance in slow motion
And all your tears will subside
All your tears will dry
And long after I've gone
You'll still be humming along
And I will keep you in my mind
The way you make love so fine
We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you're mine all mine
Play the music low and sway to the rhythm of love

It's all about Quality

2011-01-24T21:21:00.005+05:30

You can talk everyday,yet fail to communicate or connect

Boring

2011-01-16T22:10:00.001+05:30

And some weekends are just that.

When to(not to) stand and fight...

2011-01-12T12:53:00.005+05:30

So I have these set of ideal principles I believe in, but when these include anyone more than just myself, I often find that I cannot impose what I believe on them. Even if I am right, even if they agree with me, even if they are ready to make speeches and blogs on them, there are hardly any who are willing to put what they say into actual actions.

Let me explain with a very simple example. I have always believed that marriage cost must be borne equally by both the bride and the bridegroom, but much to my dismay, I could not get my way during my own marriage, nor my sisters. The progressive men we married did not think much of it( P still changes the topic when I talk about anything even close to this and says he did spend an almost equal amount on various expenses/reception ). Basically, it was a non issue with pretty much everyone. Now I am subjected to listen to my in laws talk along the same lines of my bro-in law's wedding. (No, they are not looking at dowry etc, just that equal cost splitting is not even in the radar) I usually make my escape when the topic comes up, lest I say something I really feel.Is that cowardly of me? Maybe. Or is it just being more sensible? For lately I have realized that there are somethings one just cannot change and any attempt to do will only upset the delicate balance.

The key to a peaceful life, lies in the capacity and strength to accept the things that we cannot change. Maybe if inclined, we can seek the courage to change the things in our control. Most importantly we need to understand the difference, and act accordingly.

As Reinhold Niebuhr has written in The Serenity Prayer (1934) reads:

"God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other"

Ps- I have heard many people in Bombay , do split the wedding expenses.

Changes along the decade

2011-01-09T01:52:00.011+05:30

- When the decade started back in 2000, I did not even know I wanted to travel. With years the dream formed and dictated many of my decisions and actions. I prayed, made career choices and did so many more things to get that, only to realize there is nothing one can do to fight fate. I had completely given up on traveling when 2010 gave me 7 countries(India, Philippines,Germany, Swiss, Czechoslovakia,France and Belgium) and many many different cities/places. My travel lust is finally sated and I am in search of a new dream.

-This is the decade when marriage seemed a stupid idea that mattered only if one wanted to have children. After years of dodging , I finally walked straight into after finding the prefect man for me. Now I think its a wonderful institution with many benefits and with careful maneuvering, it can be worked out to ones advantage.

-This is the decade I came very close to loss and death. I lost two of my grandparents and that has made me see life for what it is. An elaborate mockery, for death always has the final laugh, but that does not stop me from living and doing all the things that it entails. Death is more painful for the living especially the spouse/partner who gets left behind. In a way, I now understand what they feel; cheated and betrayed. I have never feared my own death but now I am scared of pain, that would cause the people I love and I am also scared of loosing them . Previously when anyone told me they don't mind untimely/early death, I used to think of them as practical and even brave, now I think of them as insensitive and selfish, for our lives are not our own and we mostly live for those who love us and need us.

-I have loved my work and hated it turns, but more importantly, I spent most of the decade believing, I could never live without working, only to end it as a homemaker and still happy.

In short this decade started with lot of preconceived notions and many many beliefs. Some of them were shattered along the years and there are some that have made a smooth transition to the other side. It only proves that nothing is permanent and everything is subject to change. Every moment of life changes us in some way and there is no denying that. I am not what I was when I started out this decade and hopefully I have moved towards becoming a better person.

Lastly on a lighter note, I started out this year with a wistful yearning for snow,went on to be over the moon with it and have now finally got tired of it. Yes, may we have warmer weather please!

And we are waiting for...

2011-01-06T14:42:00.005+05:30

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T23:48:00.004+05:30

This new year, let us dare to hope that happiness will visit us and give us good memories that will lead us though the darkest hours.

To Prague and back....

2010-12-29T12:25:00.006+05:30

So we are back from a lovely snowy trip from exotic Praha or Prague. In spite of the weather conditions, our flights and trains did not get cancelled and we have returned safely. When you think about it, what better way to close a year than a short Christmas holiday, right? But all the walking around in snow has left me weary and tired. I am yet to recover from it. Hence the lack of posts. Don't they say too much of anything is bad? Well I have really had my fill of snow and winter, of wearing so many layers that I always look like a bundle, of being clumsy because I don't know how to do anything with gloves on, of the cap that rests on my head making it impossible for me to wear my hair down, of having to peel away layers and then put them on in every restaurant/cafe or any other place.... anyway enough with the cribbing. In spite of all this my holiday in the city of 100 spires was beautiful. I hope when I am feeling better, I will be more inclined towards making a post which will do justice to our trip. For now, I am leaving you with this cute traditional wooden Czech doll, we found at Prague which now brightens our window sill.

Random Reading: Caracalla

2010-12-15T12:56:00.006+05:30

So like I said before, my reading has become very random and thanks to stumble, I land on different topics at different times. European history and culture is like an endless digging site. The more you dig the more you unearth.

This morning with my tea, I came across some spinets about the emperor Caracalla, who was also know as the "enemy of mankind". He was the same emperor who had commissioned the Baths of Caracalla in Rome which really impressed me during my last visit to Rome .

Often in history we come across blood shed and treachery in family, all in the name of hunger for power. Back in 211, 22 year old Caracalla was no different. He arranged for the assassination of his 21 year old brother Geta during a reconciliation meeting arranged by their mother Julia. Geta died in their mother's arms. One can imagine the pain and anguish Julia might have suffered. Since just murdering his brother was not enough, Caracalla went on to eradicate every living and non living memory of his brother.

The majority of his rein was spent in the several provinces of the empire and every province bled in turns under his cruel rulings.The senators, compelled by fear, had to attend to his capricious motions and were obliged to provide daily entertainments at an immense expense, which he abandoned with contempt to his guards. He ordered them to erect in every city, magnificent palaces and theaters, which he either disdained to visit, or ordered to be immediately torn down. The most wealthy families were ruined and all his subjects were oppressed by different kinds of taxes.

When the inhabitants of Alexandria heard Caracalla's claims that he had killed Geta in self-defense, they produced a satire mocking this as well as Caracalla's other pretensions. In AD 215, true to his cunning and blood thirsty personality, Caracalla savagely responded to this insult by slaughtering the deputation of leading citizens who had unsuspectingly assembled before the city to greet his arrival. He then unleashed his troops for several days of looting and plunder in Alexandria. According to historian Cassius Dio, over 20,000 people were killed.

His bloody ruthlessness can be seen in yet another incident; According to the historian Herodian, in AD 216, Caracalla tricked the Parthians into believing that he accepted a marriage and peace proposal, but then had the bride and guests slaughtered after the wedding celebrations. That was the day the wine and blood flowed together.

Through all his rampage of killing and plundering, Caracalla remained true to his soldiers and to Rome. He was first of many emperors who cut their hair short and favored the look of a common solider.Seeking to secure his own legacy, Caracalla also commissioned one of Rome's last major architectural achievements, the Baths of Caracalla, the largest public baths ever built in ancient Rome.

His own end was no different from the fate he doomed others to, while traveling from Edessa to continue the war with Parthia, he was assassinated while urinating at a roadside near Carrhae on April 8, AD 217, by Julius Martialis, an officer of his personal bodyguard. He was succeeded by Marcus Opellius Macrinus who was well know for his reluctance to engage in warfare. A short but welcome relief in the bloody history.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caracalla

A basic law

2010-12-14T00:56:00.011+05:30

Relationships are like two ways streets
When one side remains empty for too long
It does not take long for the other to dry up.

Looking back...

2010-12-12T09:00:00.007+05:30

So after a long time, I caught up with friends back home and I kept hearing different accounts of different people...one thing that really stuck out, was that everyone had moved on. Someone was going on-site, another getting married, getting promoted, a baby on the way, new challenges of motherhood and there was even one filing for divorce... In the last few months so many things have changed and that scares me. I wonder if I will be able to pick up the reins of life and get back into the game. Do I even want to get into that game? Do I have the courage not to? So many unanswered questions.

This stay abroad, is turning out to be something I have always wanted, and with every passing day, I love it more. I love the fact that I am able to avoid the rat race and choose what I want to do with my time. I love the fact that there are far fewer eyes judging and measuring me; Are you putting on weight?, Have you bought a house?, Are you investing correctly? ,What CRR will you get? , Office politics?. There are definitely, far lesser obnoxious people who assume they know/own you and have the right to ask you anything they feel like...of course some of them taint their way across oceans via internet, but the point is, it is easier to shut out topics/people more easily from here. I cannot help but say this, personal space is a unknown concept in India.

So while I gave selective audience to the world and perfected the art of communication over internet, I also spent the last few months reading, seeing movies,dabbling with my colors,being more faithful to my blog, cooking/experimenting, traveling and of course learning a new language. I do have some bad days which make me wonder, about the decisions I have taken and sometimes, I am overcome by doubt and end up feeling a little lost, but then a new day dawns and I go on.

It has been six months, since I landed here, today. I remember the day clearly....It was 12th of June and all that is good in the world shone green and bright. I remember the anticipation followed by a heady feeling of starting over in a new city. All the nooks and corners, waiting to be discovered. The challenge of adjusting to a new way of life....This is longest period, I have ever been away from all that I call home and I am not sure, if I am ready to go back and fall into that way of life, just yet. P has been everything and more I hoped for and I am grateful for that. Call me a coward but I secretly hope that this stint will not end anywhere in near future and if it does, I hope I am ready by then.

So for all that has been and what will be

Cheers.

Hidden Hues

2010-12-09T23:51:00.008+05:30

I have been wanting to do a painting, with a particularly dominant color scheme, but could never zero down the subject. Then some days back, I found a series of photographs of Jodhpur, taken by a photographer called Claude and the blue houses of city, found a place in my head. This is inspired from one of the photographs.

Medium: Watercolor on Paper

Of seasons

2010-12-06T13:51:00.006+05:30

Life here is completely entwined with the weather and its just not the jobless me who feels this way... Many of us obsessively check the weather forecast and even the hourly forecasts to take simple decisions like- should I carry an umbrella today, do I need an extra jacket, boots or sneakers etc etc...you get the idea. So it should not be surprising, when I say the mood of the city and its people, vastly depends on the weather.

A rainy day is sure to make almost everyone grumpy. The rains here are very unlike the moon soon/ sudden down pours in India.Back home,a burst from the clouds, has more often than not, proven to be a respite from the hot sunny days. The dust settles down and the plants get a free wash. Everything looks shiny and bright. Here, the rain combined with strong winds, results in one hell of a bad day. All said and done, I still love cloudy days with intermittent sunshine as everything looks beautiful in that light...however hot sunny days with temperatures scoring, are just not my thing.

Moving on to Autumn, it is no secret that I have and I will, always love the colors that define Autumn. It is season that evokes a multitude of emotions. It is about memories, nostalgia and roads not taken. It is about throwing the words like "what", "if" and "now" together and thinking "what if?, "now what?". ..and last of all, it is humbling yet amazing to see nature shed all that is old and prepare for winter. It feels as if nature wants you learn, a very important lesson.

When autumn makes you think and wonder about the complex patterns of life , winter with snow is simple and enchanting. Peaceful. Soothing. It is like recuperating from the year gone by and preparing for cycle of life to start once again. It is surreal to sit back and watch the tiny snow flakes drift down with a hot cup of tea and some good music in the background. It is this weather that I can easily let my mind draw a blank. Almost a year back I mentioned precisely that in this post. :)

I am yet to witness spring in Europe and I don't know if I will be here to do so...but I can imagine what it will be like. A flash of green in the beginning which will progress to a full bloom. I think by then,everyone would have become weary of the constant cold and rain. The mild sunny weather will be a welcome change. Travel will definitely become more easy. I think, it will be impossible not to love spring and I hope, I stay to see it.

The week that was a winter wonderland

2010-12-05T23:00:00.007+05:30

It really was. The tiny pieces of white fluff that became water on hitting the ground, turned to bigger snow flakes and slowly transformed Brussels, into a white city, overnight. By mid week, everything was covered in snow and I of course was in 7th heaven, for many snow dreams came true.

Well that week has gone by and all that was white, has now turned brown or melted away.We were subjected to heavy rains yesterday and that has brought an end to the white phase.

Oh winter don't let us down this time
Ride through our home on a sledge of sliver snow
and let us become a part of a winter rhyme.

Remembering Autumn

2010-11-27T13:28:00.000+05:30

Its been more than decade since I have used water colors as a medium.Last month, thanks to amma and appa I landed myself a brand new set of water colors, brushes and handmade paper. I was incredibly happy to receive these as though using oil paints is much better and has its own distinctive advantage, water colors can be a quicker medium as they dry faster. So I set about painting this picture of autumn...

After completing this, I know why I prefer oils. The scope for modification and creation of depth is restricted, as the paper can withstand only a limited number of layers. Nevertheless I enjoyed the process and will continue exploring this medium along with oils.

First Snow Fall

2010-11-26T12:50:00.005+05:30

One of the top 5 things I have wanted and dreamt about is witnessing snowfall and experiencing a white city. I know there are those who hate the idea, because of the problems it causes but inspite of knowing all that, I still find that I cannot dislodge the image from my head. Like I have said before here, when we heard about this Brussels opportunity, my first thought was, "will it snow there?". Well it did yesterday! :D It lasted only a few minutes and Brussels is very far from white as yet, ( the ground is not cold enough, so the snow melts as soon as it touches earth) but I have been quite perked up since that happened. So while I continue waiting for a white city, here is a picture of the first snow shower this season.

Colored memories of Bruges

2010-11-22T06:54:00.002+05:30

I have recently rediscovered that I love painting. As a child and a teenager I lacked patience and was quick to toss away any work as not "good enough", which would usually result is extreme distress and anger at everyone around me. Amma has born the brunt of many of my "moods". If you are reading this amma, I am truly sorry for those episodes. Last November, almost a year back I ventured back into this world, taking one tentative step at a time in the dark.I must say the journey has been rewarding so far. The steps have now grown more firm and the path ways now seem clearly delineated...

I started this painting soon after my trip to Bruges. I was so in love with the waterways and quaint architecture that I had to capture it on canvas. This particular setting is often experienced in Belgium; An overcast evening sky which is usually a Dark Blue/Grey with the Sun breaking through the cloud cover in one corner. This climate lends dramatic coloring to the surroundings. In Bruges, since the waters are muddy and murky ,an overcast sky makes them appear dark brown. All this is in contract with the bright colored buildings makes a very startling picture. I hope you like it as much as I do.

Medium-Oil on Canvas
p.s- I completed this painting quite sometime back but due to lack of sunlight, I could not take a good photograph of the same.

On Sex trade,Prostitution and Abuse

2010-11-18T12:25:00.013+05:30

I came across this at ted.com. It is a rather old piece but potent nevertheless. The crux of what Sunitha is trying to say is the biggest obstacle for victims of abuse is society, i.e US and I agree.

This incident happened years back when I was still in class 11 or 12.We had a maid who was very good at her work. She was punctual, did her work well and most importantly she did not steal. ( Yes, we have been robbed of valuable trinklets many times in the past) As far as her personal life went, I think her husband had run away or died or something like that... I think she had a son but again the details are sketchy in my head.

One day when I came back from school, there was a huge gathering on the front gate. The watchman, other maids, gardener etc were all arguing and talking. Later that evening they approached the us; the residents of the apartment complex.We were told that our maid was having suspicious relationship with a fruit vendor. There were allusions towards prostitution too....of course our maid denied it, but no one wanted her coming to our flat any more.She was castigated even before she was proven guilty. All residents and workers wanted her to quit immediately and of course we were maid less for quite sometime.I remember, I felt that she should not have been forced to leave.We should have given her a hearing and a second chance but the society has its own rules and rarely does it bend them.

Have you ever thought, why is it always the prostitute or the victim of abuse who has to take the brunt of the society and never the customer or abuser respectively? Even in the above case, no one said, they would not buy fruits from that particular vendor. The police men catch the prostitutes and dance girls in bars and huddle them into a cell, but never the men who pay for this. Every raid is about the prostitutes and never about their customers or even the pimps. The victims of abuse are never really allowed to forget their traumatic experience. More often than not, the reports or complains filed only bring more discrimination and trauma.

Three years back when I was in Ipswich, I found out that the police there went after the men who seek prostitutes and then published their photos in the local news paper, thereby using embarrassment in front of family and friends as a weapon, to curb this behavior. This idea really impressed me then and in my opinion, it still is by far one of the best ways to fight sex trade. In simple terms it is about demand and supply. If there is no demand there would be no supply. The reason why prostitution has stayed in our society since early ages, is because there has been a demand for it. If we want to fight it, we have to curb the demand first. UK Government has come a law which is along these lines and is worth reading.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_the_United_Kingdom

It may or may not be the perfect solution but it is definitely worth considering. We have to take a re look at the laws concerning the sex trade and prostitution. It is high time we bring in some reforms without getting into the "moral" aspect of it. There are many immoral things happening in the world and the best way to fight it is by going after the source.

Of Han-Sur-Lesse caves and delays

2010-11-14T22:21:00.013+05:30

The days in Brussels are getting more and more depressing due to the Grey cloud that rarely leaves us. The rains pours down almost non stop and the wind never rests. Even now we can hear the whooshing sound it makes outside our window. This has kept us indoors on most weekends and holidays in the recent weeks but then there comes a point where staying in becomes unbearable. A few days back we just needed to get out. To hell with the weather.

We headed towards Han-sur-lesse limestone caves and well the trip was not bad. It could have been really fun in summer but we had to do something and it proved to be quite a day. For starters we ended up waiting in a town called Jemelle for over an hour for the next bus( No 29) to Han -sur-lesse, on reaching there it turned out we had to wait for another hour for the cave tour. To while away time we walked about in the town and this cutie held our attention for quite sometime.

He noted us and trotted towards us

There he is

I guess absence of sugar lumps disappointed him.

We then drooped into a cafe for a hot cup of cappuccino and warmth of the indoors. Fortunately unlike many of our friends, we got a guide who knew English. The caves themselves were simply spectacular. The light and sound show was a pleasant surprise.After having our fill of stalagmites and stalactites, it was time to go back and guess what, another delay. Due to some problem our train was delayed by an hour! It was a day of delays in every way but still better than a regular stay at home holiday.

Kicthen Tales-Tawa Pulao

2010-11-11T01:42:00.011+05:30

I have never really liked cooking much because it invariably involved cleaning up later and hot kitchens are far from comfortable, especially in the blazing heat of the Indian soil. So when I did learn to cook ( after marriage) I strove to make it "optimum" in every sense.(As less effort and time as possible, minimum usage of oil etc and yet pleasing to our tastes buds...you get the picture). It actually suited me. Making three meals a day while working at a place which demanded 12 hours of your day was no easy feat, especially for me. As my amma always says, I have a lazy streak.

Being a stay at home wife in Brussels has been somewhat of a challenge and I have taken it up head long. I am currently in a quest to see if I can lead a life without regular income and yet feel fulfilled. More on that when I have some answers. As a part of this continuous assessment and evolving process, lately I have taken an interest in cooking and even though most parameters are still the same, I want to bring some variance in the type of food we eat. If not for P, well then for me. It all started about 1 month back on some random afternoon when I realized I miss amma's cooking and that I am bored of my own. I have tried some recipes successfully and some not so successfully.. Through all this I have realized I cannot follow recipes to dot. I always add or subtract as I wish and that too mostly due to nonavailability of raw materials readily at hand and almost every time end up making the same dish differently. Again lack of consistency is not a good thing. So I have now decided to catalogue whatever I do in case I like the outcome.

So today I googled on types of pulao's and found a popular Indian dish called Tawa Pulao. Apparently its a Mumbai based recipe. I found many different versions of it online and came up with the one below.

Ingredients

* Raw rice-1 cup
* Oil- 2 Teaspoons
* A pinch of cumin seeds
* Pav bhaji masala- 2 Teaspoons
* Roasted groundnuts-2/3 Teaspoons
* Cut vegetables-( Peas, carrot, capsicum, cauliflower, potato,beans)
* Onion finely diced-1
* Green chillies slit length wise-2
* Garlic clove finely diced-1
* Tomatoe finely diced- 1
* Paneer - 6 cubes shallow fried
* Coriander leaves
* Salt to taste

Method

* Fry the onion & garlic in the heated oil with cumin seeds
* Add the tomatoe and green chillies and let it cook for 2 min
* Add all vegetables and the roasted groundnut and mix well
* Add one cup of raw rice and 3 cups of water. Mix well
* Add salt and pav bhaji masala
* Pressure cook till about 4 whistles
* After cooling add paneer cubes and mix well.
* Dress it with coriander and sever with papad.

Note- You can cook rice separately and then mix it with the gravy. I prefer to pressure cook so that the rice completely takes in the flavor and well... its just easier.

We liked this recipe as it tasted different. A good change.The only downside was it did not go well with plain curd and we simply must have curd with all meals. So next time I plan to make onion raitha to go with it.

A diwali away from home

2010-11-05T17:04:00.006+05:30

When I think of Diwali today, I am left with an image of us(amma, appa and dinks) in our terrace bursting crackers. On some Diwali's it would be in the mornings( really early, we would still be in our payjama's), others in the evenings. Amma, sometimes appa would insist of lugging a bucket of water to our terrace for safety reasons. Some crackers would burn, some would fizz out due to rain. On some days we would go to the terrace and watch the sky light up with gems and other colorful crackers.

There are memories of us huddling into the STD booth at 5 AM, to wish our grandparents in Trivandrum and Bhopal. Later on when they moved to our apartment complex, I remember us wearing our new dresses and going to do namaskaram in the morning. Ammama would have prepared many different sweets and she would ask either me or dinks to go and give to our neighbors.I think I have snuck out a few from the plates when no one was looking. I remember the way we would shout and talk over the blaring noise of the special TV program's in our paternal grandparents place, before someone forcefully shut it down.We would all then move to the dining table for a full south Indian meal. Thatha would have a old story to retell. Appa would crack some joke and unadulterated laughter would follow.

They are assorted memories of different Diwali's ,almost like a collage of images formed and carefully pinned up along the years. Even though in the more recent years we avoided bursting crackers and lost interest in wearing new clothes, I am so glad my parents and grandparents gave us some good memories to remember and cherish for if they had also lost interest/ enthusiasm when we were kids, we would have no memory to hold on to...

This is my first Diwali away from India and I am so glad to have these random images with me...
They fill up the gaps and missing pieces. The day would not feel like a real Diwali without them.

Happy Diwali!

Born Into Brothels: kids with cameras

2010-11-02T12:25:00.005+05:30

After the glowing recommendation given by dinks about the above documentary, I decided to watch it yesterday. I was just contemplating downloading it when I found it in you tube.( It is available in 8 parts) Needless to say Dinks was spot on, I loved the peice and the way it was shot.

Two documentary filmmakers Ross Kauffman and Zana Briski chronicle their time in Sonagchi, Calcutta and the relationships they developed with children of prostitutes who work the city's notorious red light district. By handing out camera's and teaching them photography they not only got a chance to look at the life in the filthy streets from the children perspective but also gave the children a chance to change their lives, if they wanted. So unlike other documentaries where we see the subject, through the eyes of the film maker, here we get a glimpse of Calcutta's notorious district from eyes of the children born and brought up there.

At the start of the journey the children are curious and explore their talents willingly and in fact even express the need to get out of there. They seek help and after a long and arduous struggle, the film makers actually get them a chance to completely break free but its sad that some of them don't utilize it.

In all the journey is heartwarming, the innocent insights into the lives of these children really touch your soul and I would like to recommend watching this to one and all.

For more information:

http://www.kids-with-cameras.org/calcutta/

Three years gone by...

2010-10-30T14:04:00.007+05:30

As I was talking to dinks last evening I was feeling rather put out and the fact that it was my third wedding anniversary did nothing to make me feel better. The below logic evolved as a part of that conversation.

All anniversaries, birth day's and new year's are more often than not anticlimactic. Since all of them mark the completion of yet another year, they usually propel us to reevaluate our life and push us into a retrospective mood.This progression of thought usually leaves people nostalgic, melancholic and out of sorts. This is what I think initially propelled people into celebrating the important year anniversaries and in due course the ritual of making a day out of it became the normal thing to do. Dining out, I can wager is the most done thing and it makes sense. Eating and drinking especially with family and friends are the oldest known, tried and tested feel good mechanisms.

So there I was feeling satisfied with my reasoning and it only seemed normal that we should also go and do some dining out ourselves but then P came late from work. His day had been disappointing and tough. His interest for eating out was way below normal which translates to " -50" as normal level in his case is "0". By then I was beat and my mood back into the firm grip of nostalgia ( I had gone through our marriage photo albums and other random snaps taken over the last 3 years), so I just gave up and we fell back into our usual Friday routine. Cooked pasta together and then dined with consecutive episodes of bones.

As I slipped into slumber last night, I remeber feeling content and my ruffeled fetahers were soothed. That is when I realized there is great comfort in routine and traditions. The systematic tick-tok of the clock can sometimes lend you the hand of much needed stability and solace. Maybe our anniversary was unremarkable on the outside but it is remarkable that we have found peace in the mundane and enjoy it with each other. This I believe, is one kind of love. Maybe the enduring kind and I sincerely hope it tides over the seasons to come.

Paris Encore

2010-10-21T20:56:00.013+05:30

Christmas of December 2007...was an amazing experience and it was so because I was in Paris with P. We were newly married and the stars in our eyes glittered so like the gems that lit up the city of lights.When we left paris after five glorious days I could not help feeling a bit down especially at the gate of Versailles for the palace was closed for Christmas and though beautiful, I knew it would be beyond compare in spring.. P told me we would come back some time and truly I did not believe him. Life took its course and things changed. Paris or any other city in Europe became a distant dream. Then we landed in Brussels which is just 1 hour from paris but somehow things kept coming in the way and we could never finalize on our dates.About 1 month back P suddenly came upon cheap tickets by Thalys to Paris and we jumped at the opportunity, but nothing comes easy in our life and the proof of it lies in the ill timed National Strikes in France.

As the one day strike turned into two, three and more days we kept wondering if we should just cancel the trip. After much gooogling and obsessing about the strike and transport conditions we just decided to go for it and I have to say we have no regrets. The three day weekend starting on 15th was one of the best I have even had.

As the saying goes "Pehele pete poja, baki sab uske baad"( First tend to your stomach/hunger and then everything else), as soon as we touched paris and checked into our hotel we headed to Sarvana Bhawan. yay! Yes,For those who did not know Sarvana Bhawan has opened a branch in Paris very close to Gare du Nord. Its a blessing for vegetarians like us. After a yummy meal we decided to take a stroll around the Montmarte and walk our way up to the famous white-domed Basilica of the Sacré Cœur. Though at first glance this part of Paris seems dicey and full of suspicious strangers, it soon grows on you and the crowded narrow streets with dirty corners weave a charm of their own. We spent some time on the steps of the basilica reminiscing and listening to an enthusiastic singer/guitarist who persistently wooed the crowds and sang cheerful songs.

Next stop was at Louvre and I loved the place. Though the first picture that pops in anyone's mind on the mention of Louvre is of course le Jecond or Mona Lisa....the truth is I found so many other paintings more impressive than her.It is kind of anti climatic to see the painting ( rather small in comparison to the others there) hang inside a glass cover and occupy one side of the wall completely. The wall over powers the painting and detracts the beauty from it. Having said that, I must say the rest out it was amazing. I have recently developed an interest in art and the visit to Louvre made me realize that I wanted to walk the entire halls with an audio guide and spend a whole day there. Anyway during this visit we spent about 2-3 hours there and headed towards Eiffel tower and stayed put till the lights came on and everything started glittering.

Saturday dawned bright and lovely and after a good sleep we headed to Versailles.The River gauche Staion was closed and so we had to take the train to Versailles chantries which is about 20 min walk from the palace. As soon as I saw the gates of the palace, memories of a cold winter morning kept rushing back and its amazing how different a place can be when the weather is better. We took the passport ticket and proceeded to spend the whole day roaming the palace and then the gardens. The music and fountains just made the day more beautiful. Not many people do justice to gardens during their visit and I implore to people reading this post to take the day and walk around the gardens and if possible take a trek to the Queen's hamlet in the petit trinion. For those who are with children or don't fancy walking, there are electric cabs/cycles etc which can be rented by the hour. So after a successful and satisfying day out we headed to our favorite sarvana bhawan and ended the day with crispy onion rava dosia's.

Sunday was our last day in Paris and we wanted to do something different and explore some offbeat options. Provins was ideal and suited our needs beautifully. It is a medieval city and has now be selected as UNESCO heritage site.Though getting to the old city center proved to be slightly difficult since we did not have a map, it was totally worth it once we found our way. The tourist information center is located at two point both very far from the railway station! Its rather dumb that they don't give out maps at the station! Apparently there are local buses that take to the tourist center but we did not know that and hiked our way up.The city is well preserved and does indeed look medieval. Since it was of season the narrow and winding streets had a haunting feel about them. The tourists were few and we ran across a couple or family occasionally. When alone, the sudden gusts of cold wind made the whole place eerie...as if there were ghosts hidden in towers and attics of the old houses.We started out from Cesar tower. We came to know that the Cesar's Tower dates back to the 12th century, but the historians are sure a tower has existed on this spot for much longer, possibly since the days of Roman rule. During medieval times the fortification served as a watchtower, prison, and refuge should the city be attacked. We waked around the various rooms before taking the winding stairs to the top of the tower. The view was Fantastic. The town and surrounding countryside in the splendor of autumn. After this we walked to the near by church, museum and generally trekked around the place.By noon our stomachs were rumbling and all that walking had tired us out. We then had crepes at a small restaurant and recharged our dulled batteries. After lunch we visited the the Tithe Barn where there are displays of various merchants and activities.( Very life like dolls) We took an guided audio tour to learn more about the them and the what went on here during the height of the Middle Ages. Other than this we did some more strolling around and taking photos before heading back to Gare du Nord . In all it was a good day but I think the place would have been wonderful in summer with the medieval fare.

In all the three days proved to be a good get away. Last time, I saw paris though a haze of red. The romance and lights caught my imagination. This time round, Paris had a more mellowed flavor but just as magical. I looked at the city douched in vibrant colors. It seemed like every facet of this vast city had its own story to tell and intermingled with all these tales was my own, a small fraction of our lives under the light of Paris...

Wednesday Afternoon in Brussels

2010-10-08T17:46:00.010+05:30

Last Wednesday, a friend of mine and I decided to go shopping for a bag for her and since the weather was just right( not to sunny and not rainy) we made the best of it and went exploring after that.

Brussels is best explored on foot and there is nothing like roaming around the city on a pleasant weekday afternoon. The crowds are less and people are more relaxed. One can always see groups of school kids doing outdoor study trips especially at historic places. It lets you see the city in its true colour. As we did that we went searching for Janneken Piss. Everyone who comes to Brussels knows about the Mannekin Pis, but few people realize that the little peeing boy now has a little sister. Apparently it was created in 1985. Though it is hard to find people who have found their way to Delirium Café cannot miss it A little girl squatting indelicately and doing her business,Janneken is about as tasteful as you might expect. I was stunned to see it and quite literally did not have any thoughts at that time, but on hindsight maybe its not so bad...If you can have a little boy pissing to save Brussels, why not a little girl. Ha, it did not take too long to my feminist side to kick in eh?

People of Belgium love their Beers and their Frites( Potato Fries). These two items not only top the food and drink list but are also the national pass time. No Belgium experience is complete without these two. So that afternoon I had my first taste of Belgium Beer at a quaint little place in one of the narrow streets near Grand palace. Since I usually don't like the bitter taste of alcoholic drinks, I settled on "Kriek". ( which means cherries) .It was sweet and actually quite nice....very unlike other beers. I also realized that every beer has its own serving trade mark glass and they come in so many different shapes! This is one of the interesting ones.

On a lighter note, I found this video on you tube.

Well, I love their waffle, frites and now beer.

Shop to death

2010-10-04T11:56:00.005+05:30

Its been a very very long time since I have done any serious shopping. Though I love to window shop, it often remains just that because of my need to plan. So any thing I buy has to be absolutely useful and worth the money and that means multiple trips to different shops followed by comparison of prices, coming back home and dwelling on weather it is "required" or where it has to be "placed". Yes, every single item should have its own space at home. So buying something is long draw process and has very little to do with impulse most of the time. This has often amazed many of my friends and acquaintances who just can't understand why I think so much about one item. Well, that is me.
After coming here, I have been planing and planing some more to buy winter clothes and had it all thought out. So when we went to Cologne this weekend, I indulged and got myself lovely winter clothes. After shopping from 11 Am to 5 PM I was drop dead tired but in a very happy place.You know the tiredness combined with feeling of contentment... makes everything seem perfect.
No wonder shopping is most common pass time and considered a quick fix.

ps- P was an absolute darling and did not grumble or mumble for the entire duration. Thank you so much dearest husband. :P

Men in my life

2010-10-01T11:39:00.004+05:30

Many times I find people I meet are more impressed with portraits than landscapes. Maybe seeing themselves in paper gives them a thrill, maybe a human face with emotions captured in paper is more awe inspiring. Personally I have never been in portraits. The landscapes have always held more appeal for I love dabbling with vibrant colors of nature...it makes me feel alive.In fact, I have discovered that I love Autumn pictures the most followed by snow clad mountains.

However a few days back, I decided to try doing sketches rather impulsively . P was cooking dinner that evening and I was just sitting around wondering what I should do in the meanwhile. Impulsively I decided to try....The two sketches were done in about 30 minutes each. At the end of it I actually felt rather pleased and so maybe I will try my hand at few more....

Sitcoms and Drama

2010-09-22T14:20:00.020+05:30

Yesterday P and I watched the first episode of Castle season 3 and I wanted to write about it because among many other things, this was one thing that both of us enjoyed. The minute I opened this blog and started writing, my mind kept going backwards. I had to delve into all the sleepy corners of my mind to go to an era ruled by Blossom,Wonder years and Small wonder.

My love for sit coms/drama started out pretty early.Anyone remember "Blossom"? It used to come on TV during my school days and was about the relationship of a daughter in her teens with her father.

After that I think I was hooked to Tarzan( the non animated version) and in fact I remember one Saturday evening it just stopped being aired and I was devastated. I think I even shed some buckets of tears over that. When I was in 10th standard around 15-16 years old , I developed this obsession with x-files and since we did not have cable Tv at home( Parents!), I used to sneak to my Grandparents place and watch it at night. It was always a struggle. My mom would think 10 PM was too late to go to Ground floor, ( My grand parents lived on the ground floor and we on the 3rd) and then Grandparents had their own serials to watch and would not give in as quickly as I would have liked to my pleas.There have been so many fights...phew. It was always worth it though, because those 40 min took me to a world so different from the one I knew.

I soon gave up fighting for time slots and serials/TV took a back seat until Roswell. This time I had to wage war with my maternal grandparents for TV time as my paternal ones had sworn not to entertain me any more. I would bribe my way through by agreeing to learn cooking, cutting vegetables or pretending to be interested in stitching! That was the period when my ammama really wanted to mold me into an ideal south Indian bride! But all is fair in Love, War and Sitcoms.

Then there was "Small wonder", "Wonder years" and how can I forget Lizzie Maguire. After all that came the era of "Freinds" when almost everything was overshadowed by it.

Along the years, I grew up with each of these serials and subsequently grew out of them.I still love watching friends from time to time and usually do it when P is not around. ( P just cannot stand watching Friends!).

After college we went through some years when we did not have TV at home! Nobody wanted to buy one until I decided enough was enough and took the initiative! During that dry spell, I completely lost touch with TV serials and I never really found my way back to them until 1.5 years back when my BIL introduced P and me to House md. We instantly fell in love with it. Most of our evenings and weekends were spent watching House md over and over again. I think we have seen all the 6 seasons at least 3 times over! So while we waited for season 7 to commence we started hunting around of similar serials and we landed Castle and now Bones.

The thing about serials is that they last only 40 minutes and are apt for weekday nights. With some humor and a decent story thrown in they can really help in taking your mind of other mundane matters. This week all our favorite series are starting a new season- Castle, House and Bones. Can't wait to watch them all!

When we're not handed tomorrow, we live for today

2010-09-15T12:55:00.005+05:30

I am one of those people who always looks ahead and plans for tomorrow and by tomorrow I do not mean literally, for that is something I would have done many many months ago. Basically, a person who thinks long term and tries to always look at the bigger picture.Most times far too much. There have been times when it would occur to me that in my quest to search for things that I want, I often don’t take pleasure in things that I did not ask for but are there for my taking. Whenever I realize this, I would make a promise to myself about taking life at a leisurely pace but have always failed. Until now.

Last night before sleeping my mind was wandering and I realized, for once I did not know where I was going in Life. My plans have all gone awry and I have no back up. I kept trying to conjure up a picture of P and me 2 years from now and just could not…I did not have any of the details. So I decided to make it easier and break it down and ask myself some random questions but was appalled to find that answer to almost everything was “I don’t know”.

Where will you be living two years from now?
I don’t know.

Will you have a child?
I don’t know.

Will you be working?
For as long as I can remember the answer to that has always been yes but now I don’t know.

It left me bereft and feeling lost. Thankfully I dozed of somewhere after that...

Today morning (In a much improved disposition) as I watched the sunrise from my kitchen(it’s a beautiful picture – will take a snap of it and post it sometime) while drinking my morning tea , I picked up where I left last night. Maybe it is not bad to live for the day. Love the day. Rue the day. Fly though the little highs. Sail though the momentary change in winds and tide over the bad weather. Completely ignore the big picture. Like shoving everything on the table at night and leaving it clean for the next day. You get the idea?

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense, if the world is really going to end soon, it might be a good idea to take up whatever that comes our way. Though it is a very difficult thing to do, it is worth living trying.

Carpe Diem!

Peepli in us

2010-09-14T11:47:00.003+05:30

We saw this movie last night and the reason I suggested it to P was that I thought it was a funny movie. I thought it was something like Well done abba by Shyam Benegal. (By the way, if you have not seen this movie then please give it a shot. Though the movie starts of slowly it soon has you rolling with laughter. )
Anyway coming back to Peepli Live, it was nothing like Well done Abba. I was disappointed by the sad ending, however Anusha Rizvi, the writer-director of the movie has shot a smart movie with the a simple story without taking any sides or projecting any opinion on the audience. This I think was the best aspect of the movie. Every person seeing the movie might become a bit sad towards the end but I am sure each one will have his/her own views and take aways from the movie. The movie reminds us how are country is today....
The film has been made with integrity, never wavering from the central point but is about a bunch of people who have none.

A must watch.

Jungfrau- The Highest of Highs

2010-09-13T12:26:00.010+05:30

I know in years to come whenever I think of my Swiss Holiday, the first picture that will light up my mind, will be of us playing in the snow. I have always been fascinated by snow and during the last winter (December 2007) I spent in Europe (Ipswich) it did not snow. I felt so cheated. So this time P promised me, we would go to the snow if that did not come to us!

So on Sunday the 29th of August at about 5:40 Am, P got up to the alarm and rushed to our bedroom window to check if we could see Jungfrau. On a clear day a part of the mountain range would be clearly visible and it was there; a faint outline with stars above. The hint of a clean and sunny day. On seeing that we quickly rushed through our morning ablutions and packed steaming hot Maggie in tiffin boxes and were off to Interlaken ost at 6:40 AM. We took our favorite train to Lauterbrunnen and then from there we took the train to Kleine Scheidegg.

This journey was really one of a kind. P and I lowered the windows of the train and took some pictures but none of them actually do justice to the real thing. This journey was one of those experiences where the mind draws a blank and only records what the eyes see; beautiful awe inspiring views; the Majestic Alps in close up. Once we reached Kleine Scheidegg, out came our gloves, mufflers and caps. The next train took us through a tunnel built inside the mountain and right up to Jungfrau. The journey from Kleine Scheidegg to Jungfraujoch took approximately 50 minutes though the journey a TV plays a documentary on how the railways was constructed. Our Swiss holiday was one of the best experiences we have ever had for many reasons, but for P, I suspect it was the railways that really clinched it. ( P's first love was, is and always will be Trains).Apparently, the idea of a railway tunnel to the Jungfraujoch to make the glaciated areas on the south more accessible, came into the mind of Adolf Guyer-Zeller in 1893, but the building of the tunnel took 16 years and the summit station was opened in 1912. How cool is that?

Once we reached the top, we were like two excited kids. The sky was blue and we were surrounded by snow. Thanks to P's early bird policy there were very few people up there and in fact I think we were there even before many of the snow fun activities opened. We were the first ones to rent our tubs and go sliding down the snow. We had such an awesome time doing that. The chill, the bright sun, white snow and all this with dearest P was almost like heaven for me. The only blip in all this was that both of us lost our sun glasses. We tried buying one at the shop there but it did not quite appeal to us.

We spent a whole of 5 blissful hours there and by the time it was 2:30 Pm we were tired and ready to leave. The tourist groups (mostly Indians) had landed there in massive numbers and well you can imagine how it would have become... The whole place was filled with loud Indians and their even louder parents and cranky kids. On the way back we went via Grindewald and spent some time walking around that place. It’s a cute little tourist town and ideal for people who don't want to travel around too much and have a reasonable holiday with all amenities.

That night I remember sleeping very contently. One of my dreams had come true.

Tourist friendly Swiss

2010-09-10T19:47:00.002+05:30

Swiss is the most beautiful country I have ever visited and one of the reasons people can enjoy the beauty is that it is spectacularly tourist friendly.

Traveling by public transport in Swiss is extremely expensive, especially if done without a suitable travel pass but on the positive side they have many alternate passes ( 5 day, 6 day continuous, 8 day etc) one can choose from and P and I made the best use of them. On rainy days we would just board one of the scenic routes( example Golden pass,Lötschberg Centovalli Express,Glacier pass etc) and sit back ,snuggle up and watch the scenery pass by through wide and tall glass windows. It was as if we were in a postcard. This was our salvation when we found some peaks were inaccessible.

This picture was taken from a moving train through the glass windows.

In addition to this we found , maps, excursion ideas and points of interest booklets available for free at every station/tourist information point and even the post office. They have web cams kept at strategic points which provide live broadcast in a TV channel ( again available at most stations/post offices etc) to give the tourists a clear idea of the weather there( The Mountain peaks). This starts at 5 in the morning and goes on continuously till sunset. Needless to say with the prevailing weather condition that week, it helped us immensely in deciding and mapping out our day.There are internet points available at every post office which allow browsing by dropping a few coins. We used this to check for weather but only because we could not figure out how to use the swiss com phone booths to check for weather. All one had to do was dial 3 digits followed by some coins!

On top of all this the people are extremely friendly. On the very first day while we were traveling from Geneva to Interlaken, an retired old man introduced himself and invited us to sit on his side of the train saying the view was going to be really nice for the next few minutes! He then went on to tell us little tit bits about the place. We were impressed. During the rest of our stay we kept meeting friendly people in trains, tourist information offices and so on. Maybe its just us but we never met people like this in Paris or Rome.

At the end of it, for people who have to check out in the morning but are still spending the day in Swiss-Lockers at Every station. One can drop the said number of euro's in coins depending upon the size of the locker and then the system lets you lock the storage and remove the key!

Castle of Thun

2010-09-10T19:27:00.008+05:30

I have an endless fascination with Castle's, Stories behind them and romance. That was one of the first things I noted about Belgium- It has the maximum number of castles. Of course it is altogether another story that I am yet to visit any one of them and I blame it on the bad public transport connectivity!

So when Monday, the 30th of August dawned with a deary cloud cover, P and I decided to go exploring Thun( In Switzerland) and maybe visit the Castle of Thun.. The Train dropped us of in Thun in about few minutes and a really nice lady at the tourist information center saw us struggling with the maps and pamphlets and helped us with some directions and additional information. This is one thing I loved about Switzerland and its people. I have not seen any country which is as tourist friendly. More about it later.

So we spent half day walking around Thun and visiting the castle which is free for Swiss pass holders. It was perfect for a gray morning. The Castle by itself makes a lovely picture but once inside the majestic rooms and huge windows really caught my imagination. I have a faint inkling that P felt I spent far too much time leisurely strolling from one window to another and reading every single line on display in the rooms that have been turned into a museum... but the huge doors with knockers and large windows reminded me of fairy tales and I am still a sucker for them. I remember the 2 big volumes of Fairy Tales appa had bought for me and dinks .They were shiny and a pale green color with a few sketches on the cover. Today they are look worn out and have food marks in many pages. The hard bound cover is almost completely detached from the book. In short it looks shabby but that only shows how much they were read and loved; Rapunzel, princess and pea, the 12 dancing princesses etc etc. As I walked through the castle, memories of all those times when I would rush back from school and have my tiffin( 4'o clock snack) with these books came flooding back. Is it not said that a place becomes special more because of the experience/memories we associate with them that the place itself? Maybe that is why this post has found its way here first...

The castle is situated on a hill with a view of the whole city and the lake from its four towers. All four towers are accessible by small winding staircases and ladders. The view is worth the climb, by the time we landed there the clouds were slowly breaking and like the famous song goes one can say, on a clear day you can see forever!

Before we left, we wrote a little note between some playful laughter and took a picture of it in an impulse and I am glad I did that because on a day like today when I am feeling beaten by the incipient cold and the weather is stubbornly cold and damp, this post and the picture brings warm memories and makes me smile.

Some dreams do come true-Swiss

2010-09-02T20:29:00.004+05:30

Before we shift this weekend we planed a quick holiday at Switzerland and yes it was beautiful and blissful. We spent five glorious nights at Interlaken and even though the weather did not show its sunny side up on all days, it has been the best holiday I have ever had. It was as if I was in a fairytale... White snow topped mountains laced with conifers, lush green lands with chocolate houses, rivers and lakes that change colors from a lovely shade of blue to green and even grey depending on the mood of the sky, pretty walking trails down the mountain paths with little water falls and rivulets, cows with bells and billy goats and deers, cable cars and cog wheel railways, snow fights and snow tubbing, castles and all...I could go on and on...
Instead of writing about the trip in this one post, I have decided to do it as a leisurely pace over many small posts....Until then...

Where I ramble and grumble about shifting

2010-08-22T01:50:00.004+05:30

There is something acutely depressing about having to move houses/homes.I think among the things that I hate most,this really tops the list.

So we have to move again in the next 2 weeks and just thinking about the cleaning to be done before moving followed by the organizing bit in the new place, makes me feel so down. Sigh. I just finished wrapping up and cleaning in Bangalore for heaven sake.

Then life can be a real bitch is it not?

Disturbing

2010-08-20T13:33:00.003+05:30

There are very few things on news which bother me now...blame it on sensationalism and drama, but this article hit something deep within me.

Afghan Women and the Return of Taliban.

Even if I discount the hype and drama, the incident did take place and that alone is enough to cause ripples of distress.

This is an extreme case which is shocking but it is equally disturbing, when educated pregnant women around me still bring up the topic of having a baby boy and new fathers get confused and say they had a baby boy when they actually had a girl and then later sheepishly justify by saying "Logon ne ladka ladka bolke, moo me dal diya"( People kept saying it will be a boy again and again and hence it stuck on).

Signs on a memory lane

2010-08-19T17:12:00.004+05:30

Today while I was talking to a friend from my work place, she said she felt as if I was just two cubicles away. That made me realize that even though we try hard, it is not possible to entirely cut away from places we have been in the past. Every work place, collage, school or house you have lived in retains a part of you and as we journey though life we leave little pieces of us along the road. As the past holds little pieces of us, we also form memories which are indexed away. Some are good and are always under constant sunshine,then there are others which are banished to the shadows. There are some really dark ones which we might think are completely erased but have just been sitting hidden away in murky corners. Most of them lie there silently till the point when we connect with something related to the past, then the cog wheels start churning and we are taken back in time. The gaps are filled in as the path traveled emerges clearly with the small pebbles along the pathway, which light up like little memory bulbs to lead us on when doubt takes over.

The roadways never forget the travelers that went that way and whenever you are ready they can always take you back to wherever you came from. This is life’s way of showing you however fast or far you travel, there will always be the series of memories which can take you back instantaneously to a time long forgotten.

Street Music

2010-08-15T15:35:00.003+05:30

Some time back I had talked about music on the streets. Last evening P and I chanced upon this near grand palace and had to somehow capture it. Listen to it. I hope you like it as much as we did.

The Movie List

2010-08-11T11:43:00.029+05:30

Since landing here, I been indulging in all chick flicks I can lay my hands on. Previously I never had this much time or resources (internet connection) to accomplish it. The only criteria is that the movies should have some romance and a happy ending. I am a sucker for happy endings.

*The list is in no particular order.

1. Waitress

It’s a dark. It’s amusing. Its one of its kind. Very different from the rest of movies listed here and definitely worth a watch.

2.Ever After

Sweet. I like the way the movie starts.

3.Princess Bride

For Butter cup and “as you wish” are hard to resist.

4. Runaway Bride

Julia Roberts and Richard Gere never fail to charm me anytime I watch it. I remember seeing it for the first time in Sathyam with amma, appa and dinks.Those were the days when the best seats in the theater used to cost Rs 60.

5.Notting Hill

If not for anything else then watch it for Hugh grant and Julia Roberts.

6.Dirty Dancing

Something steals into your heart and stays there.

7.Pretty woman

Who has not seen this movie? Most I know will never mind watching it one more time. Julia Robets works her magic as Richard Gere does his thing.

8.How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

A Chick flick in every sense. Entertaining.

9.Just like Heaven

Reese Witherspoon finding love after death. Seems weird? But worth a watch. Believe it not even my Husband likes it!

10.A Lot Like Love

A sweet movie I happened to catch by chance on TV. Love it because of the way it spans across years.

11.The Perfect Man

A random Chick flick but easy on ears and eyes.

12.Bridget Jone’s Diary

Its like opera either you love it or hate it.

13.50 first dates

So cute! Adam Sandler is funny and so likeable.

14.Sweet Home Alabama

Works as a quick fix for those depressing days.

15.While you are Sleeping

For all the rainy stay at home days.

16.A Walk in the clouds

If you have a sweet tooth you will love this.

17.When Harry met Sally

Witty that’s what I will call it.

18.Four weddings and a Funeral

Is delightful and sly and not mention full of cute stances of Hugh Grant.

19.Sleepless in Seattle

This is old school and endearing. The parallels with an affair to remember do not make it clichéd but help you relate to it even more.
Could not resist adding the link for some quotes-Click here.

20. You’ev got a mail

Every time I hear the first few lines, I feel the warmth spread through my veins and sets off a yearning so unlike anything else I have ever felt.
“I like to start my notes to you as if we're already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we're the oldest and dearest friends as opposed to what we actually are, people who don't know each other's names and met in a Chat Room where we both claimed we'd never been before. What he will say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go on line, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words:You've got mail.
I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.”

21.The wedding date

After movies like the one above it seems almost criminal to put this one in the same list. They are so different and this one is way out of league, but when you really run out of feel good stuff and want to watch something which is passable. You can see this. For really really bored times.

22.Never been Kissed

Its funny and a good way to pass the stay at home evenings.

23.Love actually

British humor I believe it is. Not yet seen it but have heard it is good.

24.Julia and Julia

Meryl Streep is beguiling and has played her part down to last dot.

25.Picture Perfect

Caught it on Star Movies sometime back.Nothing great.Can be even irritating if you are not disposed towards mindless watching.Time pass.

26.Letters from Juliet

Well the scenery is beautiful and so the movie is not bad. So again a casual watch.

27.Clueless

I remember having seen this in collage and have not chanced upon it since then, but it should be passable.

28.Raising Helen

Its about sisters, love and growing up.I liked it.

29.French Kiss

The film Pyaar To Hona Hi Tha (1998) starring Kajol and her husband Ajay Devgan is a remake of French Kiss with a slightly different ending. The Malayalam film Vettam (2004) by Priyadarsan is also an adaptation of French Kiss.(have not seen it)
So this is the original movie and far surpass the lesser remake(s).

30.My fair Lady

I had almost forgotten about this gem and then it suddenly came to me out of nowhere while I was cooking.

31.Sound of music

I first saw this movie in Trivanadrum and was just six years old. Attai or Amma, I don't remember who got the video cassette for me and I saw it on the video player one rainy afternoon. Dinks was too young to enjoy it but I vaguely remember liking the movie, at least enough to ask for it every time we went to Bhopal to visit my maternal grandparents. Malu akka ( our family friends) used to then bring it over for us. SInce then till now , it has been one my fondest movies and attached with it are even fonder memories.

32.Mona Lisa Smile

This is a movie that will lift you up and make you smile.

33.13 going on 30

I don't like it much but have watched it when it came on tv and I had nothing better to.

34.Confessions of a shopaholic

It is not bad to watch it once.

35.Devil wears Prada

I have seen it zillion times but I don’t seem to get bored. No idea why though. Maybe it’s all those fashionably clothes, caps and necklaces that are seen in the movie.

36.Two days in Paris

Well lately I love watching movies like this.Not exactly a typical chick flick or romcom but I like the movie and hey, it’s my list!

38.Before Sunrise

This and the its sequel are my current obsession. I go over the lines in my head, over and over again, till the magic has me wrapped up in the if and only accepts of our life. A must watch.

39.Before Sunset

Dear readers allow me to persuade you to watch this and its predecessor.They are gems of a kind.

40.Chocolat

There are few Dvd's I carry along with me wherever I go. This is one of them. This movie is like a beautiful poem topped with dollops of chocolate and cream. Its is due to this movie that every time I move cities I think its the restless north wind playing its trick.. All said and done, how can I not mention Johnny Depp who looks as yummy as a piece of chocolate dipped in rum.

41. One fine day

I think I saw this movie on one of my summer holiday trips to Bhopal and fell in a little crush with George Clooney.Its a nice little movie and through I have not seen it in a long time, I will not mind catching it once again.

Update on 20-Sep-2010

42.The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

I just saw this movie and found it quite nice. It made me cry at some parts but it ends well.

If you can think of any other movies which belong here please do let me know.

Unsaid but true

2010-08-08T01:12:00.000+05:30

On a very general way, many of us are dissatisfied and have complains about the way we have been brought up. In the movie Before Sunrise, the character Jesse nails it by saying,

Everybody's parents fucked them up. Rich kids parents gave them too much. Poor kids, not enough. You know, too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them or they stuck around and taught them the wrong things.

You get the point. There is always something that could have been done better, a little more or maybe a little less. So many complains but what many of us forget is that our parents are humans and humans are known to err and then try and do better.The proof of it can often be seen in how parents never bring up their second child like their first and never ever do the same mistakes twice.In fact most parents try to do things with their children as they would have wanted their parents to do with them.

I love my parents unconditionally but that has not stopped me from wishing they had done somethings differently for me and have many times voiced the same in anger to them and maybe hurt them( especially my father) at times. I realize today, what I did then was inexcusable. I now understand and believe they did their best and whatever I am today is to a large extent because of them. Things like this often remain uttered and never see the light of conversations. Since we belong to a traditional yet evolving, South Indian Tam Bram family who have always fought against emotional blackmail and such, we have never been too comfortable with emotional declarations...

So today on your birthday Appa, I want you to know I am sorry for all the hurtful words we have exchanged over the years and though I am not guaranteeing we will never argue again, I want you to know that I love you for what you are and am grateful that you brought me up the way you did.
Happy Birthday dearest Appa.

On memories

2010-08-07T02:09:00.000+05:30

Memories can be beautiful,ugly, embarrassing but mostly they are powerful because they can make you feel a thousand different things at the same time...and if you take a close look, you will realize that the memories of moments that have been don't hurt as much as the ones that could have been.

Remembering Bruges

2010-08-02T19:43:00.003+05:30

My trip to Bruges inspired me to do this...

Pencil on Paper

Caught in a bubble

2010-08-01T01:52:00.001+05:30

For sometime now I have been feeling as if I am trapped in a bubble which is floating by as the rest of the world goes about doing their day to day things. My life here in Brussels seems abstract like some painting one would chance upon at a gallery. A painting one could gaze at for hours and still not completely decipher what all it is trying to say.

Initially I kept trying to establish contact with parents, relatives and friends in India hoping that their voices over internet or telephone would help me hang on to what my mind perceives as real world, but as days turn into months I think I am slowly slipping into the comfort zone of the bubble. I have now stopped sitting near the outer surface and gazing anxiously at the outside and instead moved up backwards, wrapped a warm blanket around myself, taken a out a book to read.

I realize I have done this when I start writing to people about my life here and in that moment I am aware how precious my little bubble is. When it breaks, all the dust would settle on me and that would be the end of the dream. I know it will be harsh and I am not going to like it but knowing that does not prepare me for the next change in life.

What I am trying to say is that, I think the time taken to step over and embrace a change is the time one feels as if one is caught in a bubble. The time before the change seems more real than the current state and it is only a matter of time when the bubble becomes a reality, but again only until the next change.

Old Hindi Movies and some Laughter

2010-07-28T12:09:00.003+05:30

There are many things I knew I wanted in my marriage and hence struggled to find the optimum fit but then there are something’s which were a bonus and I believe that is pure luck. I got lucky just like that when I discovered P loved watching old Hindi movies as much as I did. Ours being an arranged marriage, there was no way I could have known that, other than if I had specifically asked him about it, but I had not.

Yesterday we treated ourselves to the movie “Angoor”. The print was old, the picture not so clear yet it made one of my evenings wonderful. The movie is well done and the humor is simply the best. It had us rolling with laughter through out. I swear I have not laughed so hard in a very very long time. Next in line is P’s all time favorite Gol Mal with Utpal Dutt and Amol Palekar.

On the fence

2010-07-26T16:34:00.004+05:30

Whatever you choose, wherever you sway
You will always be, only on one side of the fence either way.

(Medium-Oil on canvas)

Saturday evening Inception

2010-07-25T12:21:00.001+05:30

We saw inception last evening and followed it up with a dinner ( Falafal) by de brouckere. The movie needless to say was awesome and dinner pleasant so in all it was a good experience. While we were coming back P and I slowly slipped out of contemplations and started talking about the movie which quickly escalated to be being debate about what did Christopher Nolan actually intend.

On googling we found that different people had many different views. The interpretations and discussions were detailed and covered things that we had not even thought off. So what started out as a venture to get “things” cleared only became more confusing!

I love watching movies like this one as much as anyone else and can appreciate a good story, smart acting and even like when the movie gives me something to think about, but it irks me when the movies don’t have closure. It’s like an itch. Is it not imperative that the writer tell the audience how he intended the movie to end?

Sigh. I have discovered I don’t like the ending to be open. I like to know all is well that ends well. Pathetic, I know, but true.

Nevertheless Inception is a must watch!

A trip to Blankenberge

2010-07-22T22:54:00.005+05:30

Last Sunday we went to Blankenberge with another couple and their cute little son, specifically to see the renowned sand sculpture festival.

The details can be found here-Blankenberge sand sculpture

Most of the work done by the artists from various countries were amazing and we even found an entry from India. Indians had put up -A statute of Goddess Kali, Goddess Sarastwati and Lord Ganesha. Well, I wish they had thought of something unrelated to religion.Somehow Hindu gods don't represent a secular nation. Do they?

This place is known for its beaches but between the sand sculpture festival, the flea market and sea life (something like an aquarium) we could not take out time for the beaches and so that will have to be covered in another trip entirely.

The entire collection of photo's can be viewed here

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride

2010-07-17T11:49:00.000+05:30

Every time we go somewhere, anywhere, cross a subway, go to Antwerp, Bruges or for that matter even the local shopping street, we come across a certain bracket of people in Belgium, poor and unemployed from the looks of it. They would be singing, playing the fiddle, the guitar or any other instrument with a bowl in front of them and the whole pathway would vibrate with the strands of their music. So all the while you pick up a coffee, decide weather to enter a shop the music will there in the background. The best part is the music we have heard so far has been good. Nothing off tune.

The point is every time I see or hear them, something tugs at my heart and I want to drop a few coins. It is not pity. Pity is what I felt when I saw little children back in India with small babies on their hands begging for money at traffic signals. Far from sad and sorrowful thought, I suspect what I really feel is genuine admiration for their skill and what they are attempting. Whatever the reason, on retrospect I also feel a bit guilty as I have never given money with pleasant feelings in India. It feels as if I am betraying my countrymen in some ways.

So I did some thinking on it and as I was speaking to amma today the answer emerged. Back in India even though many of us drop of coins at signals, it is usually far from a pleasant experience. In fact I suspect the beggars go that extra mile to look more miserable than they actually are. They try to make you feel guilty for all that you have and they don’t. They try to make sure that you don’t miss the fact that they are desperate in contrast how lucky you got. Many of them corner you at odd places and scream at you if they think the money you have given is not sufficient. I think I remember someone telling me once a beggar returned a 2 Rs coin saying he wanted 5!

I am not judging the act of begging. It is unfortunate people are poor and we (Indians) belong to one of the poorest nations, so some of us might have to beg until things get better. That is the way of things. Having come here and seen these people, I have come to realize that begging can be done with some dignity. Sing, dance or if nothing pretend to be a statue at tourist spots! If none of this works why can’t they be creative and think of other things better than tearing their own clothes, smudging their face with dirt and carrying a borrowed child to the nearest traffic signal to bang on car windows? Of course not all are frauds and some people might genuinely be as desperate as they look, but still I wish our people would try to turn begging into earning by doing or even just attempting to do something worthwhile.

A Sunday at Bruges

2010-07-12T20:33:00.003+05:30

Ever since we landed in Brussels, every other person we spoke to recommended Bruges to us. It is known as the Venice of North. Now having seen Venice about 2 years back I had mixed feelings about the place, for how could anything compare with Venice? However this Sunday, we simply needed to get out of the scorching hot Brussels and so we decided to head out to Bruges.

Before I start exploring our experience of Bruges, it is interesting to note how the place got its name; Bruges. It is interlinked with the fact that this city was once the main center of sea trade in Northern Europe. The name of the settlement was derived from the water name 'Rugja', in other words, the first canal, Reie. In the 8th and 9th century the name evolved and eventually contaminated with the Scandinavian word Bryggia, which means landing stage. This name again changed in time, and that's how the current city name came into being.

Apparently Bruges has seen its sine curve of life. Starting right from the earliest settlement, it shaped and grew to become a major port for traders before succumbing to slitting up of the zwin and losing its status. It skimmed through the golden Age of Burgundy era and dropped to being the poorest city in Belgium before again raising to become an area of economic activity and the currently the much renowned travel destination

To us, Bruges turned out to be a neat little surprise. Hidden just beyond the main road, in front of the railway station, the first sight of the pretty canal and the sidewalk stole into our heats. With no particular agenda in mind we grabbed a 50 cent map from the station and along with a print out of the popular walking trail map, we spent the whole day navigating thought the sidewalks, bridges and cobblestone streets flanked by canals and medieval buildings. The 7 euro boat ride changes the perspective and it feels like you are taking a peak into a civilization from its water hedged edges. The boat driver spoke only Flemish and so we could not understand a word of what he said, but I think that just gave us more time to observe and shut out rest of crowd around us.

All outings seem almost incomplete without the waffle experience and hence we treated ourselves with caramel waffles for Lunch. As we walked around we came across many horse driven carriages which is supposed to be a unique way of experiencing Bruges, but somehow that did not catch our fancy we were content with just watching the carriages whisk away couples and families. Once we reached the Market square near the Belford tower, P decided to buy French fries and even as we were discussing whether it was worth taking sauce with the fries (As it meant extra cost), we heard the vendor address us in Hindi! He turned out to be a Nepali. Sometimes language unties people like nothing else and even though he was a Nepali he still felt like our fellow countryman. At the end of our small chat he topped our fries with “mirchi wala chtpata sauce” (in his words) for free!

We could not climb the tower which is supposed to give a fantastic view of Bruges as it was closed for renovation. The market square also known as Grote Markt, is also the center for food, drink and music. As we moved around the city we could hear strings of music wafting towards us from the center of the Mart. A band of musicians played some lovely music which only added to the charm. We continued exploring the city till 4 in the evening, by which time our legs were screaming for respite. So we walked back to station and took the 4:30 Pm train to be back home by 6.

On the way back I remember comparing Venice and Bruges and as against Venice which came out as romantic ghost city with dark corners and darker mystery, Bruges was a dash of sunlight which illuminates the mossy nooks and manages to create a charming picture. It is like a window to a time when the air was laced with opulence and power.

As stinky as it gets

2010-07-07T13:25:00.003+05:30

It was 1987 and we were spending the summer with our grandparents in Trivandrum. Our cousins had also come down and in all we were having a really good time. I was about 6 years old with a sister of 2 and my cousin brother was about 5 years old. Our ancestral home was located amidst a really huge garden filled coconut and chikku trees. You can imagine how the place must have looked for the tiny tots that we were…a wonderland full of promise for our wild imaginations. We could be fairies, princes, princess, queens you name it. The world was ours to rule.

One sunny afternoon as we were playing, I caught my brother peeing in my make believe castle and I was shattered. I ran home to complain to his mom about what he did and the answer I got haunts me till date. She explained to both of us that since he was a boy he could pee anywhere and it was different for girls! Needless to say my brother ran off with a smirk on his face. I think at that point of time I was more confused than shocked because I did not know then that our society made different rules for little boys and little girls just as it does for men and women. All I remember feeling is a sense of betrayal and upset.

The incident has stayed me through my life. Every time I see men peeing against walls I am now alternatively ashamed and angry. Ashamed because this is one of the main reasons why India is now so sought out for slum tourism and angry because in some ways we don’t even acknowledge the fact that it is an incorrect thing to do. Little boys are brought up to believe they can pee anywhere and hence grow into men who have no sense of shame or more importantly hygiene. Even educated men, dressed in smart suits think world is their toilet and pee anywhere.

Two days back I came to realize it was not just India, which was a victim of this behavior! P and I saw two different people peeing in the nearby park on two consecutive days! I came back last evening and tried to find on the internet if there was some sort of law for this matter in Brussels and in doing I found this article. Apparently the same was happening in Paris too, before the government took constructive steps like install a group of men as brigade des Incivilities, which roughly translates into ‘bad behavior brigade’, who catch the offenders and fine them 450 euros. This money was then used to build more public toilets all over the city. I hate to sound cynical but any such step in India will only provide another avenue for the “policing team” to pocket some bribe. Yes, sad as it sounds it is likely that the average Indian man will bribe his way through peeing than pay and use a public toilet.

I remember watching a bakara episode on MTV. Cyrus of MTV interviewed people urinating in public places. I think that was excellent idea and effort taken towards curtailing this note worthy. I can only hope that all those individuals caught on camera would think twice before doing it again. Sigh. Then again it cannot be done on every single person who does this and hence it is not a permanent cure. So what is the cure? How do we stop this problem? Do we need an epidemic scare like H1N1 which spreads on urinating in public to finally sit up and take notice?
Maybe it should start at an individual level, right at our home. I can safely bet that most women find this act disgusting and so I urge them to try and instill in their sons the importance of hygiene. I wish schools and doctors would start talking about this at every possible avenue. Maybe if all this is in place, a legislation passed for a hefty fine would also help in breaking the habit.

Human beings are an intelligent species and like every species peeing is a necessity but doing that in public places is nothing but an extreme affront to our very being- our intelligence.

Murphy's law

2010-06-30T12:55:00.006+05:30

We finally did have our waffles at grand palace because they are so famous, but alas we picked the wrong shop I guess… for how can something that looks as good as below, not taste as awesome. The waffles were a bit uncooked and not warm enough.
Murphy's Law at work.
The more you anticipate and look forward to something, the more anticlimactic it gets!

Passing ships at night

2010-06-25T21:33:00.004+05:30

Have you ever realized that some of the best heart to heart conversation’s you have ever had, are those with complete strangers on trains, bus journeys and sometimes with people who were fated to be with you for short periods of time. The perfect vibe, that missing link from your life is invariably with a person who was never meant to be. Why is that the person whom you lent your soul to for a few moments, just a stranger caught in the same room as you for that day?

I was vaguely wondering about this today and decided that maybe the seamless conversation, that missing link was not as perfect as we remember it to be. Maybe it’s just that we have no other memory to mar the perfect moment, for these people never remain in our lives long enough to cloud it with lesser thoughts.

The more time we spend with people, the more they reveal themselves to us and let’s face it no one is perfect. So it dawns on you that the harmonious ocean you were just discovering with this person has a few storms of its own. To add to all this, just in case you did mange to swim far into the ocean without even the tiniest blip, the first storm that will come upon you, will descend like a hurricane and the swim back will cause strains and sprains, which will take a very long time to recover and things will never be the same again. They might get better. They might get worse but they will never be the same again. The perfection is lost and herein lies the secret of why the greatest friendships and the loveliest love stories are but tales of passing ships at night.

Leaving you with lines by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
.

Mirage

2010-06-24T12:16:00.005+05:30

The corner of a mascara lidded eye
Catches the lovers in deep embrace
So unaware of hustle of the world around
In times when to find love is but a gamble

She twists her hair on her finger
With thoughts unraveling, doubts probing
Every breath a sigh
Was he really the one?

Come evening she would break up
And continue her search
For the world was sure to hold
A man made just for her

She never took a closer look
The lovers at the park
A neighbor with a drinking problem
And her gay best friend.

What appears so true from far
Many times is far from true...

Marriage -what does it actually entail?

2010-06-23T14:13:00.004+05:30

A few days back I watched the movie Flavors on the internet. There are quite a few things sweetly endearing about it, but the one part that stayed with me was what the soon to be Indian mother-in law, tells her soon to be American daughter in law, after she realizes that she has been in and out of many relationships.

“See Jenny in India we don’t have a boyfriend. No, there is a love marriage but no boyfriend…..You should always think, I have only one husband and I have to be happy with him. So when problem comes, you should face it and solve it and not think I will get another husband. Then you will see how happy you will be.”

I don’t remember the exact words but they were something along these lines. I think she wrapped up the meaning of marriage in these few short lines.

Along the years, whenever I saw amma and appa having fights, I used to always believe that were ill suited and should not have had to live together. I believed arranged marriage and our chauvinistic society was working its evil intent and making them fight. On retrospect, I think what they had was a true marriage. They had their set of problems and resolved them in their own way. Like in any random fight, there is always someone who ends up loosing a bit more, getting a tad more hurt and shedding more tears… but in the end when you see that they have managed to stay married for thirty odd years, you know both of them have come out victorious.

I have been married for barely two and half years now and am no expert on it, but I think I am slowly catching on to what exactly a marriage is about. For one, it is about being comfortable and completely at ease with each other. It is about not having to think twice about popping a zit in front of him or talking about his constipation problems. Then it is about small things like figuring out what is for dinner and who will do the vacuuming this week. It is about having blow ups over really stupid things and then later making up. In between all this, like a silver lining in a grey cloud, there are those few lucky days when we can have good insightful conversation or watch a sitcom and share a few audible laughs. The luckiest days are those, when we can afford to say nothing at all to each other and still be comfortable in the silence.

After all this, there are those really tough parts of accepting each others shortcomings and even though you cannot come to terms with all the shortfalls, it is still an achievement if you have spent years together just trying to come to terms with them. For that is what counts. The conscious effort that you put towards making your marriage work is what matters. Though it sounds highly unromantic, no sustainable relationship can be effortless. Marriage is one relationship which requires lot of attention and lot of effort. It’s like a needy little child who grates on your nerves when cranky but at times gladdens your heart with the sweet bubbly laughs.

I am quickly learning that marriage is like a complex chemical equation that refuses to get balanced and I hope with all my heart that we will spend many many years trying to balance it. For I realize that it is this journey that holds the essence of marriage.

Quick jaunt to Antwerp

2010-06-22T21:45:00.014+05:30

My first real weekend at Brussels took me Antwerp. It’s a town near Brussels very famous for its diamond districts. It so happened that last Saturday, P's team had a team lunch organized at a nice little Jain restaurant called Aahar in Antwerp. Saturday morning saw us catch a train to Antwerp after a bit of hustle and bustle due to the confusion regarding the time of departure! It is so typical, is it not?...these last minute hiccups and disputes regarding "when we should leave". Anyway P and I settled our ruffled feathers and somehow managed to leave. I am glad we did that because in all we had a nice time.

The shopping street and the weather at Antwerp really cheered me up and most importantly P and I tasted our first Belgium Waffles there. We shared one, on an indulgent wimp as neither of us were really up to eating anything after a heavy lunch. They were so yummy! I can't wait to have another...

The Shopping street by itself reminded me of oxford street of London.

All the aimless wandering brought us to a "Jagannath Rath yatra" organized by Iskon. It was a bit to strange to see vedesi's dressed up in traditional finery like sarees and dhoti's. They were propagating vegetarianism ... It made me wonder what actually leads them along this path?

Anyway, by 5 in the evening we were tired and ready to leave.We took the IC train from Antwerp and reached brussels in exactly 35 min.While I am on this topic, I must must say the central station at Antwerp is awesome with 5 levels! Leaving you with some snaps of that and some information.

Antwerpen-Centraal (Antwerp Central) is the name of the main railway station in the Belgian city of Antwerp. The original station building was constructed between 1895 and 1905. The stone clad terminus buildings, with a vast dome above the waiting room hall were designed by Louis Delacenserie and the vast (185 metres long and 44 metres high) iron and glass trainshed by Clement van Bogaert. The station is widely regarded as the finest example of railway architecture in Belgium.

Memories of Bangalore

2010-06-18T14:09:00.003+05:30

One of the most irritating aspects of my rented accommodation is the fact it has no colour. Quite literally, everything is white. A sharp contract when compared to the place where we used to live in Bangalore

While pune never did grow that close to my heart, Bangalore was entirely different. I loved living there. I miss many small things like our place on the 13th floor with a view to kill for, the gardens and walks around, the library Just books, the availability of everything at finger tips, the fact that I used to work, my friend at work, watching house md with P, visits from my bro in law and so on…

Though I have no idea how I feel when we leave this place, I think it will be grossly unfair if I did not put down somewhere how I left about leaving Bangalore. So this post is dedicated to a memorable stint at Bangalore. A city, very close to my heart.

Some Colour on the white walls

2010-06-17T13:43:00.000+05:30

When the sun comes out, Brussels become so beautiful that it is hard to resist going out for a walk. These are the accessories that accompany me on most of my trips.

Turkish Market and Fhatfhati

2010-06-16T13:23:00.004+05:30

On my first weekend here, we went to the Turkish market to buy some random items. Trust me, the market is worse than pondy bazaar! It felt as if whole of Brussels had descended on the place.

The vegetables and fruits are fresh and can be brought at a bargain price here.

The most important purchase we made, was our portable bag. It is like a bag on wheels and everyone uses one of these in Europe. We used to have one in Ipswich. We loved it so much, that it almost killed us to leave it behind, when we left for India exactly two years back. We had named it fhatfhati .

So here is our brand new fhatfhati

Long days

2010-06-15T18:03:00.002+05:30

So, I have finally landed in Brussels. The last three days have been busy with settling down. This is the first time in my life I have experienced really long days. The below picture was taken at 8:30 PM! Note the rainbow in the fountain.

It’s weird to go to sleep before it actually becomes dark, but then it is not difficult to slip into slumber, as it grows chilly at night and there is nothing better to do than slip into the warm covers.

Keeping it Simple

2010-06-06T23:44:00.000+05:30

So I am still in Chennai. I have been here now for a week and I will be here for another. Chennai as usual has been unbearably hot and sweaty, other than today when the clouds decided to smile on us. The dreamy weather just added to the wonderful time I have been having at home. This has been the first time since Aug 2003, (I stared working then) that I have been at home, totally at peace and relaxed. A real holiday…my brain is in shutdown mode. I get up late, read at leisure, shop at T Nagar and watch movies with amma. To add to all this, I have not had to plan and cook. I hardly step into the kitchen but to help out amma in small ways. In short, it is bliss. This break from work has done me more good than anything else in the recent years.

I never thought I would be happy without work, because all said and done, my life has been spiraling towards better, since I started going to work. Working has always made me happy and some would even call me a workaholic… but then somewhere along last year things started changing.

I have taken a short break from work. I want to see if I can live with the fact that I don’t earn my living. I really don’t know if I can do that and if I can’t, I don’t know, if I can find alternative employment. In fact I don’t know too many things!

So I am in the first step. A deep cleanse. Hence, the shut down mode. With another 5 days to go I want to ensure I make the best of it. 

Moving Again!

2010-06-02T23:30:00.004+05:30

The restless north wind has blown again ..

We left Bangalore last week. I am currently between cities. I wonder if that is a the correct phrase? Can it be used like "between jobs"? Maybe I should just say I am on transit since P is already in the next destination city.

Can't wait to get there and hopefully I will revive this blog and write more often.

Until then

Pristine Winter

2010-05-29T09:17:00.003+05:30

I completed this one(again oil on canvas) just last month and is so far one of my favorite works. Winter and snow have always fascinated me and it does have an surreal feel to it. While I was painting this I kept thinking how I would love to wake up to this scene on a cold winter morning, in a cozy little cottage with large window panes, a fire place in the corner and some hot coffee as the only company.

Stillness in Spring

2010-05-29T09:13:00.003+05:30

I completed this painting (oil on canvas) in Jan 2010 and have now decided to give it to my in-laws:)

In defense- Twilight Series

2010-01-16T20:34:00.005+05:30

I recently watched the movie Twilight and that took me backwards to the time when I had teased my friend endlessly for reading a vampire love story. You see back then the whole idea was too cheesy for me to digest. After seeing the movie I fell in love with some of the sound tracks(Muse-Super massive black hole & Carter Burwell - I know what you are) and wanted to download them. This had me googling on “twilight” and in process I ended up reading quite a few reviews and blogs about the movie/book.

Frankly I am disturbed by the general outcry and hence this post.

So without anymore digressions let me get on with it. About few months back, it so happened that during one particular visit to the library; I was looking for something different to read. Down the corner, in the secluded teen section, right on the top shelf rested the book Twilight. It seemed to beckon and wink at me, as if daring me to read it and in that weak moment, I went ahead and picked the book.

I finished reading it in 2 days.

I liked it.

Yes, I know, it looks like I have lost my mind but let me explain…

Well the book has simple language and it does tend to propel you along and want to find out what happens next. It’s basically mills and boon with a twist; Vampire loves human. The central theme is forbidden love. The hero being a typical bad boy with something akin to good heart (it would have to be called good if he had one) fighting bad guys with hmm…definitely no hearts. Stephanie Meyer says her inspiration for the first book was Pride and prejudice, and for her benefit the conflict and sexual angst is there. Edward is almost as perfect as Darcy. He is handsome, composes music, plays the piano, has a flare for languages and with two graduate degrees, is basically a know it all. You see he had hundred years of wakefulness to read and learn. So our hero is a mature vampire who looks seventeen and is fighting his nature to be a good guy.

Bella, our heroine, on the other hand is everyday teenage plain Jane. Any girl, or for that matter any young woman who remembers how she was in her teens, can relate and live her fantasies through her. She has zero concept of self, is clumsy and is a pushover and yet has the coolest boy in high school madly in love with her. I hope you get the drift…

Many people have called parts of the book very anti feminist, but I don’t agree. This has nothing doing with feminism. I can safely wager many teenage girls feel the same way as Bella does; Insecure, unsure and a misfit.

I went on to read all the four books and was done with them in a matter of two weeks. They are nothing spectacular, but they definitely don’t deserve the censorious reviews they have got. Almost every blog which hosts a review of the books, goes on to mercilessly tear it apart. My point is if you can read any random romance for that instant feel good factor, you can read these books too…For example it fares no better or worse than Chetan Bhagat’s Two States. For me both the books were a tie. Just a casual read which is why I did not want to write about the book in the first place, but all this excess criticism got to me. People do go overboard in declaring fiction that is selling like hot cakes as good for nothing. It has become cool to ridicule, and that is what irks me. All those intellectuals out there first read the book and then scoff at it. If you don’t like something, don’t read it and more importantly, why are you spending time and effort to develop spoof cartoons?

There are some who say Stephanie’s writing skills are really bad, which is true, but if you think about it, this is what makes the story more accessible, because it draws you into the plot more than into the writing, and it means that you don’t have to be a brilliant reader to get into them. (Just like say 5 point someone) It also means the books are generally never going to be taken seriously, which is also fine, because they are not meant to be.

In an age where young people are sworn of reading books, writers who keep it simple have brought back reading to the masses. I actually see people with books in their hands now! It’s nothing big but it is still a start.

In the end, it’s just a book. I did not love it, but neither did I hate it. It is a distraction and can do as a light quick read on days you are depressed and want to get away form all of it. Don’t buy, it borrow it and lastly take the book (the other three as well if you want) with a pinch of salt and read it for what it is – a guilty pleasure.

My Painting

2010-01-13T06:39:00.004+05:30

Red and yellow Leaves
Dancing in the trees
To a tune know to time
An amber autumn rhyme