Domestic violence

Though its no big surprise that I usually write and feel passionately about all women related issues, I have never really touched upon domestic violence.The closest I have come to this was way back in college when in sheer fury a guy whose advances I had turned down for a good long four years almost hit me on the last day of exam in the college bus. He had grown desperate and angry as he knew that there would be no other way to meet/see me in future and hence would not be able to continue "convincing" me after that day. He went on to threaten me and stealthy came home at night and left notes under our door. In short it was a nightmare and to make matters worse, there were some silly women in my class who tried to do " mami velai" and convince me to say "Yes"! The guy was from a well educated and civilized family and had 2 sisters of his own also. I later found out that he did have a temper problem.He had once pushed his grandmother down in anger which gave her a broken back!

The past is in the past. Dead and buried and of course I am over all that. Looking back, I have to say, at least I had the venue and opportunity to escape and once college was over and I could cut myself off from all the related elements and start over, but what about women who are in a real relationship like marriage which makes escape not so easy? If there are children involved, it becomes more difficult. These women are most of time are not only abused but also are unaware that they are being treated badly. Most relatives and friends call it a "private matter" between husband and wife and choose to turn a blind eye. In fact our entire society is extremely good at turning a blind eye to most women related issues and the few who do speak up get labeled "feminists" and whatever they say is dismissed as "oh she is like that only....just ignore and change topic".

Given our propensity as a society to keep quite I totally loved this campaign.


fullmoononearth said...

I guess we should start with the basics. The idea of beating children to discipline them isn't all that helpful. Some children grow up with the misunderstanding that it is OK to beat someone when you think the person is wrong. If you were never disciplined that way, there's less chance of the idea coming to you. But some children are just so difficult to handle.

lipstick said...

Maybe you are right but why is that only men are more prone to this and why do men target women especially their wives?

Raaga said...

It has little to do with being beaten to be disciplined as children. It has a lot to do with the male mindset...some men are raised to believe that it is OK. The wife is a doormat anyway, and she's not going anywhere...

And then for some, you'll find it is not even about upbringing... they come from decent families, educated... their mothers hold PhDs their fathers treat their mothers well, and yet they are wife beaters. The pity in all this is that even educated girls, girls like you and me, take it sitting down. One of my closest friends took 7 years of abuse before we found out, and made her move out.

lipstick said...

I agree with you Raaga, it has little to do with beating children and all about the general mindset.You know I remember a guy once saying in college" A wife is live toy given off to you, to do whatever you want!"

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