The world a court house

A particular incident( elaborated towards the end) made me think on these lines.

Why are people so quick to judge? How do they assume that they actually "understand" the other person's position, feelings and thoughts, enough to pass judgmental statements? I remember my father telling me long long back, there is no way to put yourself completely in another persons shoes and think like them because at the end of it, you are not them. Each person and each decision/action they take is influenced by the years behind them and each and every moment of those years, uniquely influences and changes the person.

So while it might be possible to try to relate and understand and even give an unbiased opinion, its presumptuous to think, only you know best and what the other person is doing is foolish/ stupid etc.

For example, a collegue at P's office came to know over the weekend that his dad has been diagnosed with blood cancer. This grown man was inconsolable for a day and was literally in tears.People around him including P were shaken. After the initial feelings of sympathy and condolences, now there is talk about why this man never visited his dad over the last four years and why they never came over here either. People are quick to cast away and dismiss the man's distress and are now skeptical about his expression of grief. Somehow this has not sat well with me. How to do we, mere collegues and friends, ever know what history he had with his dad or what reasons he had, for keeping away from his family.Maybe there were property issues, sibling rivalry, misunderstanding, wife unable to get along with in laws and so on. Irrespective of whatever the past might have held, how is that people can judge and question his grief? Maybe it is real and then again maybe its not but he deserves to be taken at face value and not be judged.

There are so many things that lie in the unknown that the best a person can do, is to take things such as these at face value, albeit with a pinch of salt. We may or maynot agree or like what decisions and actions people around us take, but when it is within the lawful limits, it is best to let it be.


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