When mid week becomes a pain and I feel as if the clock is not ticking fast enough, I stare at the system time and will it to rush forward smoothly and swiftly. Sigh. Time is really a multi-dimensional, fascinating woman. I could even call her my muse because she inspires me to write such drivel this mid-morning and all because she is being stubborn and not moving fast enough. Here I am talking about short term time; spanning less than a week or even a few hours/seconds etc...
I remember good old school days when I could not wait to grow up and get to college and once well into college years I could not wait to start working. Once I started working the allure of money and independence was like a potent drug to my starved senses. It still is. I cannot imagine loosing all of this and so for the first time in my life I find myself willing time to move slowly in long term and quickly in short term.
I guess time has the answer to all unasked questions and incomplete stories. She holds me in raptures, teasing me with dreams of tomorrow and romancing the days gone by, all in the same solitary second leaving me slightly breathless and sometimes even disoriented. She can dilute or dilate every tiny facet of what you have felt along the way. The loudest applause, the sting of the disappointed hopes, the sorrow of loss, every cruel word uttered your way, will not remain. The applause will fade, the sting will dissipate, the sorrow will numb and the words will loose their power, all because of her. Sometimes I tell myself she is my best friend but other times when she seems intent on dragging me through the roughest of patches, I cuss and curse her and pull her in league with my fate and hate them both passionately.
So I now have now come to a point where I have realized what I have with her is a love-hate relationship, complex yet invigorating, unpredictable yet fascinating and most important of all unavoidable in every way!