Nope, this post is not about the years many of spend burning the midnight candle mugging up all those equations which has a ever increasing tendency to remain unbalanced and all those formulas which would refuse to pop up in your head! Sigh! It brings back unpleasant memories indeed.
But this post is about supposedly more pleasant stuff. Remember the way yours eyes your eyes used to scan for that one boy/girl in school or college. The way many times even in the midst of heated conversations with other friends you would foolishly zone out and hear only one single voice at the far end of the class. The heady feeling when you spoke for the first time or the way the spark from a otherwise nonchalant handshake left you slightly breathless…Stop right there. Do you really think this is chemistry? Maybe it is pure or ahem..ahem…impure physical attraction? Does it happen to those who have crossed quarter century? I think if you answer the above questions in all honesty you will find that all these “chemical reactions” are characteristic to pre-teens, teens, post teens and even early twenties. Of course I know there are always exceptions but largely this phenomena is restricted to the above mentioned categories give or take a few years.
So does that mean all those poor souls my self included are never going to feel this chemistry thing because we have crossed that stargazing, everything is beautiful age? I don’t know and I am no expert in this area either but in this post I am going to try and organize my thoughts in a chronological order which I hope in the end will make some sense.
Maybe chemistry has to be redefined and scope revisited. Romantic chemistry. To put it in layman’s terms, I think chemistry starts with a combination of physical and personality traits in the other person that you find appealing and this builds when you engage in a good conversation at the end of which, after you go home you would invariably want to see/ talk to this person again, simply because you had a good time. Sweaty hands, racy hearts, heady feeling etc are not a must but if all that exists then it is added bonus. So essentially chemistry should comprise of physical, intellectual and emotional compatibility. Passion fades fairly rapidly and sooner or later what will be left is intellectual and emotional compatibility. As trite as all this might sound, I believe that Long-term relationships are based on psychological and emotional intimacy, not just physical intimacy.
The key words should be effortless and mutual. Is it not? I say effortless because contrary to what I used to think learning to love is not very easy. At the very least, you probably need to start out with at least some degree of all components of chemistry. So dear readers who are single, double or just turned double especially in the arranged marriage thing, don’t fret too much about this chemistry stuff and don’t work too hard for it either. If it exists then you will feel it in the air and if not, well don’t lose hope it will chance upon you sometime and steal your breath away!
Love comes to those who believe in...
Happy Valentines Day