It’s 5 in the morning and I am at home drinking coffee, reading “lost letters” on ammani’s blog. I have skipped gym today morning because of a sore throat and faint hint of a strong cold which is threatening to ruin my weekend. Coming back to letters, each one of them is so well written and I can almost see myself in many of them. Yes, most are heavy with melancholy and my throat is constricted with the pain of unshed tears. There are letters to friends from past, to one’s bosses, to ex’s, to wives and so many more, alive with all those emotions which bloom, then fester and become cobwebs at the back of our mind because we rarely acknowledge them…
I was going to write a letter to you and post it there but then decided that would be grave injustice to you. I don’t need borrowed space. I have my own. You. In ways that you may never comprehend you have helped me rediscover myself, fix the broken pieces of self-esteem, discover what I can be, what I am capable of…and much more. From my non blogging days to today, I have become a very different person; more confident, more comfortable, more sure of myself and one with much lesser inhibitions. Can you believe many in the last one year have called me “talkative”! I know people who will laugh at the idea and dismiss it as if it was never thought of leave alone voiced. My dreams and hopes have surfaced and bloomed with every post I made on you, every tale I penned and any fear that I might have harbored has been reduced to almost nothingness now. I know you might not like the idea of “not” being a personal diary, as that is what I started you as, but dear blog don’t you see this is so much better, has so much more scope and has made me what I am- A little spinner of fiction & reality into sheer threads of gold shimmering with life and all emotions you can think of.
Though I cannot make tall promises of writing regularly and never having to take you off “public” mode (sometimes I think you might scare away prospective suitors !), I can tell you that you are one of the best things that has happened to me a long long time.